Life Of A Scrapper

Acupuncture

2012-01-19T08:52:00.000-06:00

Who would have thought? Certainly not little old me. I hardly felt a thing. It felt like when you flick your finger on yourself. There really was no pain at all. I don't know how many she used (might have to count next time) but she did my neck, lower back, and upper leg on the right side. Took 30 minutes and the charge was 60.00. She recommended I have it 2 a week for 3 weeks. I actually feel a bit better. Does it still hurt? I would have to say yes but I see improvement. Might be small but I will take what I get. I think I may go again tomorrow at lunch or Saturday. Just goint to see how it goes. At least I feel like I doing something instead of sitting around and getting worse. Might even see about a Chiropractor next. Who knows what I will do next. Before she started she did a consultation where she took my pulse and told me all about my body. Things like I go to the bathroom all the time, I need to drink more water (something I had been thinking about the last week), I was very stressed out, I have a weak kidney (the meds I take effect kidney, liver etc), I have a good heart (glad to hear that), I haven't been sleeping well (which was true). Interesting, very interesting. I slept last night like I haven't slept in months. If I got up to go to the bathroom (something I have been doing forever at least 2 during the night) I don't remember it and I can't tell you how long that has been. I found that amazing in itself. It was a very positive experience for me.
I didn't get much accomplished last night but I am hopeful for tonight. I want to get Baby B's calendar finished up so I can put them in the mail. I did finish Baby A's so I just have a couple months left to do. Hopefully it will be ready to go very soon.
Now back to work I go.

Mid-Month

2012-01-18T10:10:00.001-06:00

I have thought often of coming on here and blogging but then I have nothing good to say so I change my mind. Things are not really much better. I could deal with the symptoms of this disease (the gas, the going 3-4 times a day and knowing when you gotta go, you better be near the john) but it is the pain and fatigue that I am just at a loss with. I am getting ready to take some off the wall steps. The next on my list is Acupuncture. Yes needles and me and as a friend recently said to me "It is just a little prick". Of course my response was little pricks are the story of my life. LOL At least I have not lost my sense of humor. Enough said.
This past weekend was full. Saturday was in fact a very full day. Started off at the beauty shop, then lunch with a couple of gals from Big D (which was a lot of fun) and then a hot date with Little Miss. We went to see Beauty and The Beast in 3D and it was fabulous as was she. Spending time with her is really time well spent. We got a late start so when Mom and Dad picked her up at 10:30 she was not ready at all to leave. I find it so funny how her mood changes at a drop of a hat, especially when the hat is not what she wants. To funny.
I had finished her album up. I actually took it back after her birthday party so I could actually add some birthday picture layouts. Glad I thought about it. Now on to 2012. I do one every year for her and I have to say one of my very favorite things is to watch her as she looks through the whole album. Most kids would be ready to move on to the next gift but Mia wants to look at each and evey page when she gets it. I love that. I am pretty cool with the fact she likes to scrap a page when she comes to my house too! Memories in the making. I hope she will always remember our times together and how special they are.
Sunday found me laying low. I have to admit I was just pooped after a full day on Saturday. I got an early start on Sunday and did some grocery shopping and a little cooking. I tried to pace myself but am still trying to get back to square one. This is the part I have a really hard time dealing with and am getting ready for a discussion with the dr. I am considering changing doctors as well but I am getting sidetracked.... Back to scrapping I went. I am finishing up the girls' calendars for their birthday. Their 18th birthday I might add. I really don't know how that happen but wow here they are. Such beautiful young ladies. Makes me sad and happy all at the same time. Sad cause time just seemed to fly by but really happy to be an active part of their lives from the beginning. Love those girls!
I am off to work now.

January 2, 2012

2012-01-02T12:03:00.000-06:00

I have started back on the plan that seems to work for me. WW has always worked in the past and while I am making some changes some things are just the same. Cooking, less portion size and weighing on my usual days. Monday is one of those days. Yikes 7 pounds last month. I am almost up to the heaviest I have ever been and it is not good. But it is what it is so now the time has come to work on it. I also have noticed I am not drinking water like I should and for me that is very bad since I am supposed to be drinking even more than normal cause of some medication I am taking. I need to work on that.
I am planning on putting in the Zumba CD I ordered a while back and see how far I can get. My legs actually feel a bit better so I am going to give it a try and see what happens. I got a few more pictures printed last night so I hope to get those in the calendar. I guess I am about halfway done so I am feeling good with that. Here is hoping to do some of that tonight as well.
Got a bunch of odds and ends for the year end and beginning new done here this morning. The whole world is off so the drive and traffic was almost none. I like that we were off on Friday instead of today. The only thing better would have been to have two days off. Tried to convince him of that but no luck. Sort of like Martin King day.....ain't happening.
So back to work I go.

FAITH

2012-01-01T17:39:00.000-06:00

My word for 2012. I really gave it a lot of thought and while "accept" kept coming up for whatI needed, it just was not "it". Then I saw the word FAITH and realized that sums it all up and feels good and right. I have faith in myself that I will accept what I have to. I have FAITH that 2012 will be a good year. I have FAITH in G-D and something else I want to expore and accept. I have FAITH I can endure all that life gives me and I have FAITH things are just going to work out. That sums up what I was thinking last night and so my word is FAITH and I have to say that, it did in fact, choose me this year.

I accomplished a good amount yesterday. I did those small persky things one does when starting fresh. I bathed my make-up brushes, changed the head on my toothbrush, ate all the junk food I could think of (ok not all but enough), worked on calendars and happy with where I am on them. Matter of fact, I have decided I am not going out, not getting dressed and spending the first day of the year gettting ready for the coming year. There is a blog I heard about I want to check out for a project, there are calendars I want to work on and in between that fun stuff, I have cooking and chopping to do. I just watched a great movie and am hoping to find others. My day is turning into a great one to kick of the new year. I even have taken a couple of picutres around here to start the process.

So the first day is coming to a close and so far we getting to know each other but looks like 2012 and I are starting off on the right foot. I reallly accomplished things I was hoping to and made a good dent on teh To Do List. REally happy about that. Going to lay low this week and next weekend, Ihave plans and so it begings. I have faith that I will find a good balance between it all.

Happy New Year

2011-12-31T08:45:00.000-06:00

to one and all. I wish everyone a very healthy, happy and peaceful new year. May your dreams and wishes become reality and if not then may you have wonderful times trying. I have made no resoultions or goals this year. I am going for a change up.
My word for 2012.....drumroll please...... ACCEPT.....It really choose me this year and that is a first for me. I usually really pick my word and I really love my word. This time ACCEPT has picked me and while I am not "in love" and I know that it is what I need to work on in many areas. I know I have to accept so much to be able to let go the anger. I have spent a year now trying to let go of that and I have to say it just hasn't worked. So I am going for a different approach. I am 99% that is the route I am going. I do have about 15 or so hours to make up my mind. I wonder if I can even stay awake to see 2012 roll on in. LOL Maybe a nap is in order. I have errrands to take care of and calendars to work on so I am off.

Will check in later. Be safe everyone....

December 30, 2011

2011-12-30T08:59:00.000-06:00

Here we are on the final days to the end of really rough year. The good thing is while it has been rough and challenging and one I might not remember fondly, I have in fact, lived thorough it and am ready to move on. Moving on to whatever might be in store and whatever adventure comes my way.
I had lunch with an old friend yesterday and loved catching up. Thanks for meeting me Leann, it was good to catch up and I loved the update on the Kindle Fire. I will be checking back with you and see how it is going.
The party I was going to just got cancelled so I am regrouping but I think I am going for a repeat of Xmas more or less. I do need to get out and run some errands but for the most part, I just think I may hang out with the TV for company and work in the scraproom. I have calendars that need to get done and I can't think of a better way of welcoming in the new year than by scrapping. Sounds like a plan.

I hope you all have a very safe and fun New Year's Eve and more important a very happy and healthy 2012, may your hopes and dreams come true.

New Look

2011-12-28T15:10:00.000-06:00

This is my new look thanks to Infusion No. 2. Gee I can hardly wait for No. 3. The standard question is usually.......Do you feel any better? so let me just say NO, I don't. Actually right now I am feeling much worse. I sort of feel like I have a fever in that I get cold and hot and hot and cold. I actually feel like a sinus infection more or less but I really think that is from the Remicade. They give a Clartin and a Tyneol before we start. Yesterday they gave me some liquid steroid before we started since I had some itchiness last time. (I know I need to use a dictionary but....) I never did get itchy and I have to say my legs and neck wereactually a tad better. So I guess my other doc was right when she said the ache and pain I have is related to the UC. Oh lucky me.
In thinking of my word for 2012 I have also come up ACCEPT/ACCEPTANCE along with HOPE. I have narrowed it down to those 2 words and have a couple of days to decide. I have a book ready to go. Well one I am going to try and use for next year anyway. I think I need to think on small terms. I really want to be able to finish things I have started so I don't want to take on more than I can handle and become overwhelmed, which these days happens quite often. Another feeling I yet to deal with. Life is such a challenge these days but nothing new there either. Aw...acceptance yes sounds more and more like that word is choosing me.

One Little Word

2011-12-26T18:41:00.000-06:00

I have decided to think, pick and do something with "One Little Word" for 2012. This is something I have been doing for 3 years or so. I didn't think I was going to really do it this year. I just wasn't in that place, but I have taken the last three days and cocooned myself and taking care of me. It has been wonderful. I really have gotten stuff done around here, made a big dent toward starting 2012 off on a really good footing, sleeping and I mean really sleeping, eating whatever I want (and paying for the poor choices), thinking. I have thought about what I want to change and improve and how I can accomplish those things. My state of mind has to be the first thing and that is a really good place to start since I can actually do something about that. Hence, One Little Word. So I am thinking.......I have several in mind......
HOPE FAITH ATTITIUDE.
Those are a few. I have not completely made up my mind. I keep coming back to HOPE but am not 100% just yet but will be. In my purging, I came across a Debbie Schuh titled "Just Be" I can add my word throughout and it is set up perfectly for the amount of time and effort I want to give my word. I am trying to be realstic about what it is going to work later in the year. You know when the newness wears off. I want to finish what I start (oh a goal for the new year) so I am taking on things very carefully and not just jumping in. Something else I can be in controll of. I find another positive for me is to take control of what I can in my life and that will certainly help me deal with the "have tos" and "no choice in the matter" things.
I keep coming back to HOPE cause it seems open to so much more and can go through the year with me and through changes. I will hope for better changes in my health and find what I can do to make that better and work on cooking more and exercising a bit. smalll steps but steps.

Pictures

2011-12-26T08:32:00.000-06:00

This is what I will call the offical 5 Year Old Photo. It is so hard to believe she is really 5 years Old. She makes me laugh. I know this child is going to go places. She has the confidence to know she can do and be whatever she sets her mind to and smarts to figure out how to go about it.

So all I could post is one picture. Not sure is it me or just cyberspace not cooperating. But here you go.

December 25, 2011

2011-12-25T07:06:00.000-06:00

and all is quiet.....It is 6:00 a.m. and I am up and about. Having several days off has been really good for me. I have rested, scrapped, gone to bed early, watched TV, scrapped some more. Did some minor (and I do mean minor) things around the house. Here we are on sunday my holiday half over and much left to do. I find I really don't feel any better but I am not letting it get to me. Next week is treatment #2 and I am hopeful for improvement.
I have been working on Mia's book and am very close to finishing that up. My next plan is to work on the girl's calendar and the hope is I can get them done by their birthday. I am taking each day as it comes and that is about the best I can hope for.
I have been looking through my recipes and pulling some from "to try" folder. With the New Year, the plan is to get back to healthy cooking and eating and exercise. No great goals, no written out plans just day to day improvement. There is much to look forward to this next year. My baby is buying a new house, my nieces are graduating and going off to college and improvements to my health. Yes I am working on the positive. There is a family cruise in March and a scrapping trip in September to Vegas. 2012 is going to be a great year and lots of plans already in the works. Now how is that for positive thinking.
I have a personal art journal I think needs my attention. It helps with not so great stuff but also allows me to play with mediums I normally don't use. It is interesting. Nothing replaces my scrapping. Most of the time it just calms and allows me to go somewhere I can just be and create. Sounds strange I am sure but it works for me. I know I am in bad shape when I have no desire to be scrapping. Yesterday was a great day for me. Never end got dressed. Old sweat pants and sweat shirt and Santa brought me just want I wanted......My internet up and working. Well maybe not Santa....LOL Seems G-d and I are talking again and hopefully we both are on the same line. Yes the new year is a time for many changes.
OK I am now going to see if there is a paper and have a cup of coffee and then go soak these achy legs. Then we will see what the day brings.

December 20, 2011

2011-12-20T08:07:00.000-06:00

I can't even think of a title these days and usually that sends me right out of here but.....a little update since this year is quickly coming to an end. I have not even thought about goals for next year, my one word (not that I did or used mine this year) or the normal things I normally do this time of the year. But hey...it is what it is and I am trying to accept that.
We had Mia's birthday and Chanuakh this past weekend. It was fun and again, I would post pictures but that would mean I have uploaded them to my computer which I haven't done. I am having computer issues at home and comcast is coming Friday. On the list tonight is to load the pictures but let's see how that goes. I have to be honest I was dozing in bed watching my taped shows (thanks TreyBaby it is the small things that means the most to me) by 7:30. So needless to say there is not much getting done around the house but I have four days ahead that maybe I can get something accomplished. I have some great goals in mind but we will just see how that goes. One requires a day or two of staying my jammies and finishing up Mia's book. There were a few pictures I wanted to add to it.
OK I am now off to get some work done.
Happy Holidays one and all.

One Day Down

2011-12-13T07:44:00.000-06:00

Toss and turn and turn and toss. Certainly doesn't make for a restful night's sleep. Stupid dreams and yes I know I have way too much on my mind. I am supposed to have the results on Wednesday from the biopsy done on Saturday. Wonder if there is anyway they might have them when I go to have my arm looked at. That is probably asking for too much but I suppose we will see what we will see. The insurance lady is supposed to call me on Wednesday as well. Should be an interesting day.
The aches and pains are back in full force in addition to lower back pain. I really think the lower back is fromt he procedure on Sat since that is when it started. As I am finding out when something starts, regardless of what it might be it takes me twice as long to get over as it used to. My legs are back to being real achy which is from the UC and the joint pain in my ankle and groin. Needless to say I am just a mess. I have lost a couple of pounds which is great. The down size is I really have no appetite but that does mean I am eating less. I am making sure to eat something decent and not just junk.
Have a dentist appointment today for routine cleaning. I almost cancelled but then I cancelled it once before cause I wasn't feeling good and honestly for the 30-45 minutes she cleans, I can zone out on the gas and I am thinking that may be a really good thing right about now.
Now off to work and tackle the problems here. OyVey it really never ends~!

A New Day

2011-12-12T20:18:00.000-06:00

The good news is there was a nail in my tire. OK maybe that is not so good but got it fixed with no issues and it didn't even cost me a penny. Discount Tires said it is a service they offer their customers. Yup when I need tires I know where I am going. Hey I found out several months ago they actually check your tire for air and will put air in free of charge. LOL for someone like me that is a great deal. It is the one thing I have missed with no more full service stations. Now if I can get my outside bulb changed .....My son was supposed to stop by and do it but that hasn't happened. Oh wait TreyBaby will be here this weekend and he will take care of it for me. Maybe I don't need to find me a man after all. HA

OK I went like a big brave girl and had my TB test done, only to find out I have to go back on Wednesday for them to "read" the location on my arm. Then I had to watch a stupid video about what the IV treatment was going to be like. How anyone could take 10 minutes to explain they stick a fricking needle in your arm or hand and through that you get a saline drip before the actual medicine is beyond. Then of course we hear all about the side effects yet again. I know I am supposed to be informed but enough is enough already. I know way more than I want to know. Then I am introduced to the insurance girl of the office and informed that my insurance may or may not let me do the treatment in their office, that once she verifies the coverage she has an independant company verify the coverage (and just who pays for all this) and then she will call me and if I am real lucky they might be able to do it on Thurs at 1:30 ONLY. Then go get your chest xray downstairs. For the 45 minutes I am sitting there waiting my mind is racing. I am strung tighter than a drum. I feel as if I have lost all control of my life and I don't even reconize me anymore. I feel like a punching bag at some strangers punch. Finally get the stupid xray and off to the office I go. It occurs to me that the best thing for ME is not to do this treatment this week. Sorry one and all but I am taking some control and honestly if I am going to do this then next week is better. I am off on Friday and things should be quiet right before Xmas so if there is a chance I might have a reaction (and let's me honest my luck hasn't been working lately) then next week is better. Now if they don't like it well that is to fricking bad. He is not the only doctor around. It is about the only thing that I can control. From that point I am not going to have any say so. It is very much a time thing. After the first dose, I have to go again in 2 weeks and then again in 6 weeks and then every 8 weeks after that. For how long???? Who knows. The whole thing just freaks me out if I think about to much so I am not thinking about it much.
On that note I am off to bed.

Pity Party

2011-12-12T07:17:00.000-06:00

It has taken two days to be able to post this. Saturday was just a nightmare. I have to admit I have never felt so alone and scared in my life. I am very grateful for those buddies that were with me in the new age of texting. You guys kept me hanging in and even smile once in a while. My blood pressure was 165/95, no surprise there. You know the anticipation of what is to come is lots of time worse than the reality. It was no help that they were running 2 1/2 hours late, that every time I said I wasn't being sedated there was a look of shock followed by "You're not being sedated"? UHhhhhhh do they know something that I don't. Needless to say when the doc came in and said "How are you doing".......I jumped on him like no tomorrow and having the lousy bedside manner he has he jumped right back. He said Iwas hysterical. He was actually correct in that. So I threw the blankets off and was trying to get up. I was out of there. Screw this ...what is the worst that is going to happen.....This was going through my mind and he calmly said no we are going to do this, get all the results and see where we are and if you want another doctor then I will refer you. So I actually came off the ceiling and realized at the very least, I didn't want to do this prep again and I was here and I just might as well get it over with so on we went. I have to admit it really wasn't bad and it was sort of interesting to actually see my colon from the inside and he explained what we were seeing as he went. The biopsies felt like pinches and I was over it all when I actually could see it bleed some. At the point I was so ready to be out of there finally something went my way because we were actually finished. Got out of there and went to Discount Tire since I seem to have a slow leak in a tire. Now let's see....Saturday at 3:00 pm....did I really think they were going to just look at it and be able to take care it. Of course not....12 people in front of me and I had eaten since lunch the previous day. They did air it up and off I went. I am hoping to get there first thing this morning and it not be a major deal. I have to say there is not much more I can deal with. Have you ever thought about getting in the car and just drive an drive and drive.......Anyway after that it should be close to 9:00 (Tire doesn't open until 8...what is wrong with 7 I might ask or even to be open on Sunday?) from there I am hoping it will be a quick in at the doctor's office for a TB test and chest Xray which I have to have before I can start the Remicade which he wants to do on Thursday. I actually wonder why it has to be so fast but then I guess if i can get over with than that is what I should do.
There is so much going through my mind I am not sure where or how to put things in perspective. I once again have learned the big lesson of judging others cause when you do you usually find yourself in the same boat. I would like to think that Mom knows how very sorry I am and how much I understand now. At least I know, I was there but I should have done more and understoood more at the time. If she felt anything like I did the last couple of days then I am very sorry and hope she has forgiven me. She was one of the stongest and bravest woman I know and set an example that I am not sure I can follow. She had her faults....and that actually brings a chuckle. I should only be as strong as her but then I am father's daughter too so who knows. I am not sure how to get through this week and there is so much deal. It is a very busy week at work and all this couldn't have come at a worse time but then that doesn't come as a big surprise. One day at a time. That is about all I can do.
Bye for now.

I Was Wrong

2011-12-10T07:49:00.000-06:00

Seems the changing of the year is not going to make any difference at all. I am having a flexible sigmoidoscopy which is a look at your colon but not near as high as a colonoscopy. I won't be sedated and that is really freaking me out but at least I can drive myself. After that a TB test and chest Xray so I can Remicade which is a medicine that I will be taking every few weeks and is done through IV. So that means I have to go to the doctor's office to have that done. I have really been blinded sided by it all.

Good Bye 2011 - Part 2

2011-12-09T08:25:00.000-06:00

I tried twice now to load some pictures and it seems it just won't let me. So OK no pictures. Wonder if it has anything to do with the fact I didn't really like any of the ones that had me in it. Yes, I know we are our own worse critic but I am really a pretty honest when it comes to this sort of thing. I can actually compare to last year at this same time because the weight is actually the same. So I can only think that the meds I have and am taking have done some things to this old body. It is what it is. Not much I can do about it since I can't exercise right now either. Everytime I get to the point that I make plans to start that again I am knocked down and end back at square one or pretty darn close to it. It really surprises me that I have been on this roller coaster for a year now and I am really no better now than I was before. That really just plain bites. Today I am going to the Doctor again and I am expecting the worst and hoping for the best.
This weekend I have great plans to get my Chanuakh shopping done. It is going to be very low key and simple this year. Just the kids. I am not up to a big to do and am actually looking forward to just being with my kids and grandkids. I actually don't have much to get. Just the ones that are really hard to buy for. LOL
Work is crazy busy. It is the season....HOHO.....this is my crazy time year and it has actually doubled since I stepped up but the days go buy fast. Such a shame I get here at 7 leave here at close to 6 and am in bed by 8 or 8:30. Such an exciting life I lead. Now you might just understand why I have not done any posting here. Seriously, what is there to say.....
and on that note, back to work I go. Really isn't it 2012 yet!

Good Bye 2011

2011-12-07T19:52:00.000-06:00

Sometimes it is hard to really believe the end of the year is just a few weeks away. It has been a long and quick year at the same time. 2011 has certainly brought me many challenges and many changes. Some good and many not so good.
While I am not 100% better in the health area, I am coping with UC and the challenges it brings. While it has been almost a year, I can say that the issues while still around are not as bad as they were a year ago. So I am grateful for what improvement there is. I trying very hard to keep a positive attitude and positive way of thinking. Some days are easier than others. Right now with the prospect of yet another steroid round, it make want to go sit in the corner and just cry. I don't do well at all on them but I also know I just have to do what it takes to get better. I just know that at 56 (almost 57) I am no spring chicken but I am no where near ready to be an inactive old person. As I was watching Biggest Loser tonight and these people were running 26+ miles that I can focus on what I can do instead of what I can't. I have to believe in myself because that is what it is going to take. I know all this but it is really hard. I am tired all the time. I feel as if I take two steps forward and three back. I finally see progress and I get so close...I start to really believe this is it...the beginning of feeling good again and then boom...it hits me right back. I bounce back and forth and that is the main reason I have not been posting here. These thoughts are best left to my personal journals. However, TreyBaby never fails to remind me that he would know how I was doing if I would just blog. OK Treybaby here you go.
Now on the positive side of things and there has been many this year. Some great vacations. I am looking forward to a family cruise in March. I am shocked when I realize that Baby A and Baby B are going to be 18 next month and will be off to college in August. Not sure where yet but I feel certain UT will see how these two amazing young woman will be a real asset to the school. I am so proud of them. They are really amazing people and I am blessed and honored to be their Aunt. We have shared so much but the laughter will always be the very best memories and we always find something to laugh about. Thanks Mom for teaching us all that.
OK I will finish up between now and the end of year and will get some picture posted here. Little Miss will be turning 5 on the 17th. Seriously where does the time go?

Life

2011-11-08T08:23:00.000-06:00

If folks are waiting for my Thankful November blog....it ain't happening this year. It is not that I am not thankful and grateful, I am just not in a place to committ to blogging about it everyday for any period of time. I am not going to whine about it but life is just a challenge these days.

I had a wonderful trip to Boston in September and a fantastic cruise to the Bahamas in October. Pictures and scrapping in the works and will come later.

In the meantime, I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Hello

2011-09-08T08:15:00.000-05:00

I know I have not been around here much. Life has just gotten busy lately. It is my favorite time of year. The beginning of fall (not sure that is official but what the heck) the beginning of the last of the year. It has always been my favorite time of the year and this year evenmore so. I am so ready for 2011 to be over and done with. I just feel like 2012 will once again bring health, happiness and all good things. Funny I felt that for 2010 and it was a bang up year. I didn't feel that at the beginning of the year but I so didn't see what a challenge this year was going to be. But I am happy to say I am dealing with it and things are improving. I am 93% better and am hopeful things will keep improving. Enough said. I am beginning to think like Sarah in that if I talk about it, I may just jinx myself so.....
I had dinner last night with Little Miss and her Mom and Dad. She just cracked me up the whole night. We were talking and someone behind us dropped a plate and made a loud noise and she says without missing a beat "Was that really necessary"? She was just so funny. I am amazed at how smart she is. She hears something once and just remembers it and can then use it in it's proper content. She is something else. She was in a great mood and we had a wonderful time. Time to go and her Daddy pissed her off cause he wouldn't let her play in the parking lot. LOL No middle for that kid. She just cracks me up.
Headed to Boston on Saturday and I am very excited about that. So looking forward to sight seeing and just having some great time with the kids. Sure hope I don't slow them down to much since I am not walking quite like I should be these days but I am hopeful that the aches and pains are on the way out. Sissy sent a cane that the girls had decorated for Meemaw so it will be like she is ont he trip with us too. Of course, since she has invaded my body and life, she is never very far anyway. LOl
OK I am off to work since I have lots to get done before this week is over. Have a good one all.
XOX

TGIF

2011-09-02T08:35:00.000-05:00

Hello Friday nice to see you. I have to say I am ok with this week ending!!! It certainly has been a week from hell. I have gone to 25mg magic pills and am thinking positive that things will just keep improving. I have not been able to get this low yet so this a new one and one I am happy to do. If things go the way they are supposed to I have just 5 weeks and then I am done with the magic pills. I am as round as can be and 10 pounds heavier. The clothes are starting to get a bit snug. I am seriously going to have to pay attention to what I am eating. Have I been? Oh yeah the whole time I eating junk and stuff I know I shouldn't I have been paying attention. I really think that is why I haven't gained 20 pounds.....So I think I am ready (or very close to it) to get back to WW. Can't exercise yet due to a pulled groin muscle but I am hoping to get back to that soon as well. I am certainly in a better frame of mind these days and work is getting crazy busy. I have been playing with paper and I love love using what I have. I have pulled some stamps and am using some old techniques that I had forgotten about. I have forgotten how good it is for me to be creative. It really does feed my soul and makes me feel so much better. Still have not gotten back to work on the purging and organizing but I am ok with that. I am not on a deadline and there is only so much I can do. I am learning to pace myself.
I am getting very excited about my trip to Boston with Sarah, Trey and April. We are leaving next Saturday and I am so ready for it. Going to be a ton of fun and we already have a list of things to do and places to eat! Bring it on!!!!
Looking forward to a 3day weekend.
Off to work now. Have a great one!
XOX

Hello September

2011-09-01T18:29:00.000-05:00

and how very nice it is to have you in the house. Couldn't come soon enough. Now things can become better and good again. It is now my favorite time of year. September kicks off my first born being born....HAHA That was a great event and almost 36 years later still one of the best. Then there is vacation, just 10 days to Boston with some of my very favorite peeps....my baby, TreyBaby and April (so need a cute nick name for that kid) and then there is fall (with the hope of cooler weather and rain) and there is a cruise and an office move thrown in there and Thanksgiving and holidays and time off work and just my favorite time of year. It also makes it easier to be positive, to see me doing better and life getting back to normal.

The medical update is that I am still coping. Slowly getting better in some areas while new issues in others. It gets frustrating because I just don't know what is caused by some of the meds I am taking and/or I just have new issues cropping up that I have t deal with. I guess the bottom line is that I just have to deal with it so I do. It gets scary and unsettling sometimes becuase you just don't know when the meds will stop working so the slighest change could signal just that. But it is what it is and honestly I just don't have the time to worry about it now. So I won't.

Never fails that I go from being caught up and even have some extra time to totally busy all day and if I stayed late could still be doing stuff. Tends to happen every first of the month. You think I would be used to it by now. Of course these days there is always something new thrown in. Getting ready for the move at the end of the month and then there is the fact there is just new stuff all the time since I am doing it all.

I am now off to play with paper some. Working on cruise books and they are coming right along.

Have a good one and I really will try to post some pictures soon.

Still Hating August

2011-08-17T09:24:00.000-05:00

Ok I am over halfway there and I still hate August. Got through Daddy's anniversary. So hard to believe that it has really been 32 years. Breaks my heart when I think of all the things he missed over the last 32 years. It is what it is. Bring on September please. I really hate August.

I am hoping the new meds are kicking in. They are taking their time but things seem to be improving so there is hope. My doc likes me to tell him % better so I would say I am at 75% better. OK the 25% not still is a bit much to deal with but the good thing is that I am dealing with it and it is 25% and not more.

I have been doing a bit of scrapping and have pictures to upload and then I can post them here. I am getting ready to start on my cruise stuff. I have sorted all the travel stuff and am ready to move on with it. I have also been thinking some of Boston and what I might want to do with that one. Thinking of making something small for journal while there. If I do that I guess I best step on that since that trip is in 24 days. WOW little over 3 weeks. Going to be very cool. Going to have to see what clothes fit. Oh and I guess I should check and see what the weather is like early September in Boston. yup plenty to do for sure.

OK I really only popped in to say hi. To say I am still around and hanging in. Now if August would just pass on a bit faster, I would be a very happy camper.

XOX

Dinner Party

2011-08-08T14:14:00.000-05:00

I was long over due for a payback dinner party with some folks and had planned quite a qhile ago to have them over on Aug 6. Finally came and it was a big success. The cast consist of Aaron, Chuck, Sheryl, Gerta, Mel (all the way from Louisiana) and her cute friend Kristie, Kim and Carlos. We had a blast. We played games and if I say so myself the food was great. Now thinking I would be doing lunch for a few here is what I fixed.....Chicken with potatoes and carrots, roast, grilled portabella mushrooms (these were fabby), couscous salad (thanks Jo this has been such a hit around my house), green beans, cucumber, artichoke and red onion salad in balsamic vinegar. For dessert I made a WW friendly strawberry shortcake, brownies and fresh fruit. Everyone seemed to enjoy the food and we had lots of wine. We had a really great time. We played a new game I got called A Game All About Things. You take turns ready a question off the a card and everyone rights their answer down and passes to the reader, who reads the answer and then everyone trys to figure out who wrote the answers. I can't say we kept score on this one but it was a hoot. An example is.....Things you do with chocolate? Ok now depending on the crowd.....You get the picture. We laughed like no tomorrow. It was great. Then we played Taboo and that was fun too. Everyone had a great time and I didn't get to bed until 1. Not because I was cleaning either cause that was done one, two, three with plenty of help. I have to say that I was completely at east with the hole thing from the planning, to the cooking, to the being the hostess, all of it. I usually get a tad overwhelmed when I do these things but this time it was just easy. I wasn't interested in impressing anyone or worried if they didn't like it or did I have enough (I had way to much even after I sent home doggy bags). It was just really easy and the best part was everyone had a great time. I would do again. Matter of fact should do it again with a different group. I love that I am expanding my circle and getting out and doing things that I normally wouldn't. It is time and who knows what tomorrow will bring if I am open to new things.
I am headed to Big D this next weekend. My child has signaled the need for her mother. When my kids need me, I am there. It is my job!!!! Sarah and Trey are getting ready to move up in the world and are putting their house on the market. After being told what she needs to pack up and get rid of so the house will show better, she was overwhelmed with how much she has to do so.......She forgets what super duper packers we really are. Ok it has been 5 years since the last move and other than I probably need to sit and rest a bit more often, I haven't forgotten how it is done. I think we will make a big dent it and she will be feeling oh so much better. Then I am hoping to do some looking at Boston while I am there too. I think there are 31 days until we go. I am ready for September. Heck by now I think everyone knows I am ready for September.
OK I am now off to work but just wanted to pop in and let you know I am alive and well and not sulking cause it August. I was just too busy to post. LOL

have a great one!
XOX

August

2011-08-04T09:50:00.000-05:00

I hate August. Yes I know I said that last year. Matter of fact I did a whole post about hating August and I am here a year later to say.....I still hate August. I wish I could skip August and be in September. I think I even hate it more this year than last year. Must have something to do with the fact I just don't feel fricking good. There it said and done. I HATE THE MONTH OF AUGUST!!!

That being said, I am working on feeling better, thinking that I feel better and staying busy. It starting to be a very month and lots of plans so that should help the month pass by fairly quick.

Progress

2011-07-31T17:13:00.000-05:00

It has certainly been a weekend of getting stuff done. I went for a facial at Neiman's on Saturday and it was wonderful. Something I will certainly do again. I cam home and was really motivated to get some purging, organizing and catch up on some scrapping stuff I needed to work one. I have now organized chaos. LOL I it is really good. I have made a big dent in the scrap room, guest room and even the back room. I have lost of piles too but I know what is in each pile and what each pile is for. I have to go through the piles but that is ok too. I am getting there. I did both sets of shelves in the back room. I have this hope that I when I replace the AC, I am going to be able to actually get air and heat back here and then be able to make this into one awesome studio. I have some ideas in and can't wait to run past some peeps in the know to see if it is possible. It is a good motiviator to get things purged and organized and find a home for everything and a home that actually works for me so I can find what I need to be creative.

The piles ........

Because it makes me happy.This is the Explore class I am taking the book I have been creating. I have to say I am doing a lot of journaling in this book and I love that. It is helping me.

This is my art journal that i have been working in as well. I just open and writie and draw or play. Again it has been really good for me and right now that is a good thing. I really hate the way I look but I am working on accepting that this the my reality for now. I have to concentrate on other things.

The other shelve in the back room. Cleaned off with just a couple of shelves that need to be purged but what is there is staying there just needs to be purged.

These are the layouts I did. As much as I hate the way I look, I actually like this picutre. It just captures life as it is right now and I am ok with that.

I actually went back and framed these two layouts of Mia. I was planning on taking them to work but I really like the way they came out so I think I have spot on the family wall for them.

Looking forward to what I think will be an easy week at work and then great company next weekend. I feel good going into the week knowing I have gotten lots off my TO DO List and am ready to keep on the road to progress. Steps.......that is what I aim for.

Weekend in Review

2011-07-26T16:43:00.001-05:00

Friday I picked up Mia and headed to the hotel in Galveston where I meet sissy, Jackie and Dani. We had the best time spending the afternoon in the pool. I love how easy it is for them to connect with Mia and and how much she loves hanging out with them. Especially Jackie...they seemed to have formed a bond for early on and even though they don't see each other often, they still connect. Oh those family ties, I love it.

Mia was quite taken with her Great Aunt Lene. They played and carried on and when Mia had to "go" she got out of the pool (good girl) and stood on the concrete (right about where you see the pink floaties) and let loose (bad girl) and her I have your back out just keep splashing her while we all laughed. I explanined to her that you don't go there and she said but I get out of the pool and pee in the grass at Grandma's. I should say that Mercy has an above ground pool and a lot of yard and I can see her being told it is ok to go in the grass. LOL We laughed so hard we almost went too.

2nd cousins and I love these girls like no tomorrow. The best medicine in the world was being with my family and the laughter and love. Timing couldn't have been better.

We went to the Strand on Saturday and yes that round ball lady with hat would be. The sun does a number on me so......As much as I hate how I looke from all the meds (especially the steroids) I take them because it is life, it is now and I want to remember.

My baby and her family. TreyBaby and BabyCakes. What a great looking family. We got to share a room and this time it seems I was the snorer and Trey was as quiet as a mouse. Let's see what happens when we go to Boston. Ok so here I should say Trey was a really good sport when I jumped him over a stupid something. Now I have to say I would have said something but since I am strung out on steroids I tend to overreact a bit. I have to give this guy credit for not saying a word and moving on. Thanks TreyBaby I love you bunches and I am really sorry you took the blunt of my drugged state.

I never get a picture with my brother-in-law who is really more my brother and friend. So I jumped in his lap and this will certainly be a scrap page. I think we look pretty cute.

From the pool cause I just love this picture.

My kiddos. They are really great kids and they look out for me and love me. They are wonderful good people and they make me proud each and everyday. I love them more than life itself.

Oh Baby A we laugh and have such fun. How many 17 year old do you know that would want to hang out with their Aunt. Well these two do and I couldn't be more proud of them if I tried. They are such good kids and I love spending time with them and I have to say we pretty much talk about everything and anything and have some great interesting conversations.

Jackie doing what Jackie does. Hangs with Mia and gives her the shoulder she needs to crash.

One Step Two Step

2011-07-21T08:11:00.000-05:00

Just when I think I have a handle on things....just when things appear to be on the up swing....just when......back I go. It seems I am once again having the same issues with my UC. It is like 6 weeks into a new med and then boom it all falls to crap and I am right back where I started from. The good thing is that I am more aware so I can jump on it faster than I did before. I am also noticing more of what takes place in the days leading up to my saying....yup flare is active again. The good thing is that I am NOT falling back into the black hole. So there you have it.

I am looking forward to a long weekend. I am leaving today at 11:30 and won't be back until Monday. The Dallas gang will be here for Mara's wedding and I am really looking to some family time and some laughter. It has been way to long and much needed. I think I am going to meet Allan for lunch at Lopez to kick it off then get my mani and pedi so that is out of the way. Tomorrow I hope to swing by WW and weigh in (skipped the meeting this week) and then head to Galveston. I have my clothes laid out so all I have to do is pack and get my last minute things together. I may try to go by the beauty shop and get her to some sort of magic with the sides of my hair. I am not happy with the cut from last week but then it could be the meds are taking a toll on the hair too. Anyway she may be able to trim it thin it or something so I may do that as well.
Now off to get stuff done here so I can get out of here.
XOX

PS Will try to post pictures of my Explore book tonight. I love how it is coming together and it is fabulous therapy for me.....

Catch Up

2011-07-20T08:28:00.000-05:00

This one is pretty current. It is from Saturday right after I went to the beauty shop. Having hair issues too. Seems I am not happy with the cut or the color this time around. Doesn't happen often but in 35+ years they have been far and few. Might have to go by there on Friday and get her to do some touch up.

These are the pages I did over the weekend when I was in a PJ state of mind.

This an online class I am doing and so far am really loving the class. The timing of it is perfect for me.

Foot Loose and Fancy Single

2011-07-13T08:43:00.000-05:00

Yup....Officially the Fella is history and I am OK with that. The time had come to move on and I knew this to be true. I was trying to be nice about it since he was not in a great place but it is what it is and sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. So I did and now I am. Almost sounds like a Dr. Seuss book. LOL
I suppose thinking I was going to get two nights in a row of sleep was hoping for too much. The good thing was I did go back to sleep instead of getting up. I did a survey at CCFA and there was a whole section about sleep so I am thinking it may have something to do with my UC or the magic pills or a combination. Here is to hoping it is a temporary thing.
I am off to the dentist this morning with the really big hope that the crown can be recemented without any other issues. That remains to be seen. But hey a girl can hope right?????
Last night's weigh in actually had me the same as last week which was a surprise cause my scale said I was up 2 lbs. I will take it and try to be better. So far I am actually tracking and that is a big one for me. I get off track real easy when I am not tracking. Tonight I am meeting a friend at Perry's for dinner. They are having a special going on in the month of July which gave Lori and I good excuse to get together. Looking forward to that. Going to be a really busy week and I am already looking to Sunday for some down time and the following weekend hanging out in Galveston with the family. I am in real need of some family love and attention and can't wait!!

Ok I am off, wish me luck!

A Little Bit Stronger

2011-07-12T08:33:00.000-05:00

Maybe since I actually had a real night's sleep (8 1/2 hours with 2 potty breaks) I am feeling a tad bit better and even more optimistic that things are improving. That actually is pretty funny since yesterday a crown just fell out of my mouth and I have a feeling there is a problem with the tooth next to it. I know I have had my share of unexpected expenses lately and since is the third, I have hopes that it is over with. I also got an EOB and that stupid blood test that took forever to get done it seems is not covered and therefore becomes applied to my deductable. That really ticks me off too. I am going to have to say something to the doctor's office because I should have been told that it was not going to cover it. I say that but then at the end of the day I know it is my responsibility but heck if you don't know the question to ask how do you ask it? All lab work has been covered before and I guess I should have known since this is not an "approved" type test and is performed by a private lab......Just really pisses me off cause it is a just in case test and may not even come into play. OK enough said. It Is What It Is.
I am happy with one night a good sleep. I am happy I am accomplishing (even though small) progress in my scraproom. I actually sorted all my travel stuff and am ready to start with cruise and Boston books. I have some ideas swimming around in my head for what I would like to do around the house and am looking forward to talking to TreyBaby about it when I see him. I am not rushing and actually think maybe toward holiday down time. We'll see what he thinks. Some I think I might actually like to to do myself or play around with. I think he might work with me. LOL I feel so much better just thinking positive again and looking forward to things again. The back room (this an addition that really has fallen short most of it's life and is used for throwing junk and Mia's toys) looks like a bomb went off but I have even started making small piles in there. I at least have an idea of where and what instead of just looking, feeling overwhelmed and leaving feeling worse than when I walked in. I will take progress regardless of how small it might be.
This is going to be a busy week as I have plans every night after work so hopefully I will be sleeping ok. The following weekend is Mara's wedding and I am excited to see the Big D family. I am hoping for some family pictures too. I realized the last time we had a family picture taken was Mia's first birthday. That would have been 4 1/2 years ago so it is really time. I know I can probably get the photographer to do it at the wedding but I am also hoping for some with my camera and since Kimmy will be there that could work. Maybe even before the wedding. I am going to ask Megan about it.
I am now off to work so have a great day.

One Month

2011-07-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

One month, 4 weeks, 30 days.....and here the observations of a full month on steroids.
1. 1.8 pounds heavier and the outfit I wore that first day is now snug.
2. My eyes are dull and tired looking and the bags under are darker and swollen
3. I look as tired as I feel.
4. Hair has no body and looks a bit sad
5. Sleep pattern is erratic
6. My heart is heavy and sad
7. Joint pain
8. Face is offically ROUND
9. 2 teeth are bothering me
10. I am not going to write
11. I am not going to write
12. I am irritable and quick to fly off the handle.
These are all observations about me. Some are most likely related to the drugs and some may not be but just are.

On the positive side of things, I have observed...
1. Discoverying all about Art Journals and liking it.
2. Grateful for a job that is keeping me busy and giving me something positive to focus on and something I am still good at.
3. The desire to scrap is returning.
4. The desire to think about how I want my studio to function and what I want to do with it is coming back.
5. The desire to "cute" up my home is surfacing.

This morning has not been a good one but here is to get better.

Changes

2011-07-06T12:04:00.000-05:00

I am making changes. Not sure if they are going to be good or bad at this point but I am making them.
I am stepping into the world of art journals. I have never been interested in this media before but then again I have not been in place in life before so again maybe change is in order. It is a journal but it combines art/craft and journal at the same time. I am moving in a direction of self discovery again and am planning on using this media to start. Just now starting to grasp it so I really don't know how to describe it because I don't know where I am going with it just yet. I do know that in the last couple of days I stumpled across a blog that spoke to me about it and seem to make an impression on me. I felt a break in the clouds and am finally seeing how to take a step forward. So will keep you posted and we will just see where it goes. Oh if I have time I load the picture of my canvas project which actually is what started the whole thing.
I am finding things and people around me are changing and I trying very hard to accept that. I don't normally do change well at all but seems I have been left with no choice at all so the only smart thing to do is embrace it and make the most of it that I can. At least that will give me some control back. I know there are going to be those that aren't going to like it much and I can't help that. I don't think I have ever been a selfish type person but I believe that the now is my time. I had a date with Mia and she loved it when I told her it is all about her. I realize it is time for it to be all about me. I have always put others first and I have no regrets about anything I have or have not done but I just think the time has come to put me first and let the chips fall where they will. We will see who and what is left standing with me when I am done. OK life let's do it.

Insanity

2011-07-04T02:37:00.001-05:00

Went to bed at 11 and am up at 1:30. The brain won't turn off and I just don't know what to do about it. Can't sleep. A three day weekend should have gotten me rest and lots of stuff done. UGH. Not to be.
Yesterday was a good day. I ran all day long and in the heat to boot. Was texting with Merry and ended up meeting her for a bit and did some shopping and a quick bite at Panera's. It was fun and good to catch up some. Went to the new Joann's. Hey I only spent 10.00 which inself is amazing. I keep thinking of all the stuff at home that I can't even begin to purge and organize so I talk myself out of buying stuff. That is a good thing. Besides next weekend my plan is to head downtown and browse the booths at CKC. I especially want to check out the quick quote booth. Got plenty of done. I even think I have found a camera/purse bag at Fossil. I didn't buy it and was planning on taking my camera back today and see how it would fit. I was going to have a lazy PJ day and play in the scrap room but I am feeling so overwhelmed by everything that I don't know that is going to happen today.
Having a cup of green tea and then I am going to clean the cabinet and closet in my bathroom. Then maybe I will be tired enough to get a few hours sleep. This is just insane and I am actually looking forward to getting to work so my mind can just concentrate on something sane for a bit.

July is Here

2011-07-03T06:36:00.000-05:00

I have decided most of my problem has to be that I seem to be concentrating on the negative going on in my life and therefore.......it is working. The time has come, I have got to pick myself up and dust off and get things back into perspective.

I was on my way home last night, having taken Mia back to Allan and was really watching my speed all the way too. You know a new car and it really goes and a holiday weekend.....I even had the cruise control set all the way there and back. So I am cruising along at 60 cause the speed limit is 55 (so I think) and so close to home that I am already thinking of what I am going to do once I get there and there are the lights behind me. So I start to pull over but I really didn't think it was for me. I am at a red light and I signal to turn cause I figure first and foremost I am getting off of Wilcrest since it is a busy street. The cop honks at me. OK I am at a red light with my signal on what the hell do you think I am going to do or where am I going. Jerk. So I turn and again I am thinking I am going to get off the street and pull into a parking lot. I should have stayed on the street and let some drunk hit the bastard. So I signal that I am going to make a Uturn and pull into a parking lot (gas station sort) and now he turns on his siren. Like I am trying to get away or something. Now I am just pissed off. I am being a responsible person and he is being an asshole. So I pull over he pulls up behind me (Missouri City police) points his damn light into my eyes and SHE comes up and the first thing I say is I was just trying to get off the main street. She is not even nice or friendly about it at all and says I pulled you over for doing 60 in a 45. I hand over my license cause I knew it was coming and got it out while she was blinding me and running my plates. I told her oh I thought it was 55 and she rolled her eyes (keep in mind I am now telling myself I really don't want to go to jail so just keep quiet) give her my insurance and wait and wait and wait. She comes finally comes back (did you know they do this by a hand held computer these days and take a picutre of you to boot.) and asks if I have my CHL license. I really didn't know what she was talking about and she acted pissed off when she had to say to me "Your Concealed Handgun License".....DO YOU HAVE IT? Oh yeah that thing and you honey are the reason I don't carry it....LOL no not really....So I showed it to her and I don't know why she needed to see it. Is there a law that says I have to carry it? HUMMMM gonna ask about that one....(TreyBaby is there?) anyway gave me freaking ticket finally and then says be careful getting back on the road. She could have been nice about the whole thing. I was really pissed at me too. I knew better and I was doing what I was supposed. It was really a honest mistake and busted.......This seems to be the story of life these days. We were talking over the drinks the other night and Erik was saying how bad June had been. It just had been a sucky month. I agreed and said you know actually it has been a sucky year and I don't see it getting any better. So it has occured to me that I am drawing the negative to me these days. OK life ain't been easy but then again (yes Mom I know), nobody every promised me it would be. It is time to deal with what I can, change what I can, accept what I can't (yeah that is the hard one right now) and move on. I am going to try and take my own advice. It might actually be time to go back to hand written journal as well.

Now here is a few pictures I just uploaded from the point and shoot. You know I forget what really great pictures that little thing takes.

This is a fake milkshake I have been working on and is really good. I used choc Almond Breeze (which is the only sort of milk product I have found that I can actually tolerate and it is very good. So is the Vanilla and both come unsweetened and a cup is acutally only 1 point plus) Then I add a frozen banana (the tip here is to peel the banana, cut into 3 or 4 chunks and freeze), 1 tsp. Almond extract and 2 tbl. sugar free instant vanilla pudding and 3/4 c ice (I used crushed). I am planning on getting some powdered protein which would make it a really good protein drink as well. I am trying to add some more protein in my diet and this is what promted me to work on a drink. I need something in the mornings, point friendly that I can put in my tummy before I start the day of pill taking. This seems to work, not that I have it every morning but when I have it seems to have done the trick. The best part I see is that is can be changed up by chaning around the fruit, pudding and extract. I even froze up some almost over ripe bananas that normally I would have pitched and they worked great. So that was really a win win.The secret to the shake really is the frozen fruit.

This week brought the fun stuff of the bathrooms being backed up. Need to be rotter rooter but the jerk tried to tell me I need to spend 3500. on a new pipe. I think I posted about that but in keeping with the above I am skipping that and going with the bathroom are doing perfect and we are just fine here on Creekhurst.

This was the 7 gypsie tray I finished of Little Miss. Don't remember if I posted it here but if so it is worth posting again. I love love how this came out. My intention was to take it to my office but I really loved that there was so much red in it (my kitchen is black and white with red accents) and I am trying to bring a bit of red into the living room so I am going to hang this right above the table with the phone in a grouping on the wall. By the way, Mia loved it!

I love that this child will usually just go with me and smile for my camera. She was very much ok with it yesterday and we had a great day together. We were in the car heading back and talking and I told her that today was all about her. ME she says. Yup today was all about her, what she wants to do, when she wants to do it and having fun with Bubbe. She LOVED it. A day all about her. She loved the idea so much she had to call her Daddy and Aunt Sarah and tell them "today is all about me".

We were off to ToyRus (for the record I was very disappointed in the stock they carry) because the plan was to update the toy selection at Bubbe's house. After all, Mia is no longer a baby but a Big Girl and it is time for a few new things. We were talking about when Daddy and Aunt Sarah were little and a few of there favorite toys...Like the piano they had. Sure wish I had saved some of those toys. Anyway she loved the idea of the piano. We found one that was 20. and sort of a lap thing that added programmed music. Then we saw this one and we both fell in love. Now this one 60. and she had some other junk so I gave her the choice and she wisely decided on this and a View Finder (another thing we had talked about in the car) and to put the other stuff back. I was very impressed and there was no carring on at all. Not even if she asked for something and I explaning why no. There a couple of things I would say OK let's hold onto it and if you don't find anything else.......which was ok with her too. Some things got put back in favor of others along the way. All in all we were there 45 minutes or so and that was walking the store 2. Sure not like it used to be.

I was in heaven when Mia asked me if we could scrapbook. I had some pictures that I had used from the above tray so I let her pick one out and we went to town. He picked out everything and today she learned how to used glue dots and glossy effects. Oh yeah baby....photographer and scrapper and this is a happy Bubbe.

Then we played CandyLand. Another thing we talked about in the car, which we actually have here. Typical child who must be the winner. She loved knocking me back to the beginning, not so much her but she was really a good sport. The game went on forever cause eveytime one of us got close we would get knocked back. We went through the cards 3 times so that should tell you something. Finally she had enough and decided she could just march her guy up to the winning spot and claim to be the winner. LOL She did and was....Who am I to argue with her?

Break for lunch. Even though it was not Toy Story chicken soup.....she agreed to try mine and found that she liked it. So it was soup, cracker and an apple for lunch. Actually two apples. Cherry koolaid in her very cool cup.

We also watched movies. I loved Tinkerbell and the Cat In The Hat. Peter Pan....not so much. I still can't convince her to watch Mary Poppins or Pete's Dragon. I don't know why but she doesn't want to. I keep saying i need to send those home and maybe she would watch it there. I really think she would love them but for some odd reason she just doesn't want to see them Strange. I didn't take a picture of the Edamames we had later on before we headed out to meet Allan. She was wonderful and we had a really great day.

I reminded myself that she is long over due for a trip to the Children's Musuem so I think that may be up next time. We really had a great date and a wonder "Day About Mia Day".

Now that I am up at 5:00 a.m. I have loaded pictures, done this post and am now headed to get my Sunday paper and have a second cup of JOE and then head to Walmart. Still need a few things, one of which (and this is for my sister) another pair of that really great comfy slippers I found yesterday for 12. I go through slippers like crazy and they are the hardest thing for me to find. I am always looking for them and been known to spend as much on slippers as I do on shoes. I really never go barefoot, hate that and when I am home I ALWAYS have on slippers. There was a time I did summer (open ones) and winter (closed duh) but summer ones are impossible to find that are comfortable or that my foot doesn't slip around. Now given how often I trip over my own feet, I don't need any assistance from slippers. Anyway last night at Walmart, Mia had to go potty so we headed that way which is by the shoes and by the slippers. I think these are new and they are really comfy. So that is on my list for today. A spare or two is a very good thing.

Next maybe an Archiver run as well. Somehow I am out of my rock candy distress stickles. I really thought I had gotten one a while back (cause stupid me didn't get another when I was there a couple of weeks ago) I use it a lot as it is the one that justs a bit a sprakle without being really blingy. My plan is/was to hit CKC next Saturday and at least roam the booths. I decided not to take any classes but I do want to go the Quick Quote booth Now with the ticket.....We will just have to see. I am really working on sticking to the good old budget.....LOL

Ok I am now off.

happy almost 4th of July.

Day 23

2011-07-02T07:14:00.000-05:00

I so hate it when I am up and down all night. Sure doesn't make for a very rested feeling. SIGH
Bring on Little Miss and a day of fun. Starting off with breakfast and then the toy store. Going to be a goodnight.
A long day at work. Actually wasn't so long since the day went by fast but I was busy from the time I got there until I left. I actually would have stayed late if we weren't going to Happy Hour. It was fun. Three drinks which were 2 too many and I probably should have stuck to wine and not a Rita but what the hey. It was pretty fun and they have the best buffet of snack stuff. We didn't play darts but next time. It was really just a much needed wind down I do believe. Next time maybe all the guys will come and then we can do the darts and really cut up.
For the sake of journal and record keeping......I am now experiencing pain in my sides. It is almost like when you have worked out and muscles really are sore (of course since I have not worked out....). I am most grateful to Jo who has some first hand experience between the meds and the actual disease since her son has had Crohns since he was a kid. It is my understanding that is actually the worst of the two (I am feeling lucky at this note LOL) but since they both fall under the same umbrella there are many similarties. She is certainly my go to gal and always has the answer for me.
Worked on my canvas project a bit and am happier with it but still not there yet. I really like the technique and sometimes the first attempt at something new just takes time and may even be a learning experience. Time will tell. I am now going to go load up some picture to Sam's and then to the shower.
Have a good one.

Day 22

2011-07-01T13:42:00.000-05:00

Today I remembered my pills. It is not a good day but I have decided that I have to make it one so I won't be whinning.
I am looking forward to an all day date tomorrow with Mia. I will be meeting her and her Daddy for breakfast at 9:30 at Kelly's and we are going all day long until said Daddy gets off work at 8:00. I am planning on a ToysRUs run. She should love that and I am hoping my ideas are going to go over well with her. Allan says to me "You know you can tell her no" Cracked me up. As I explained...of course I can but me, Mia and the word NO are things that I try not to put together. LOL Seriously, Bubbe's place is really in need of some 4 year old toys and things like the water paint book and such. So that is on our list of things to do. Then there is play time, reading time, scrapping time and who knows what else. We will be very busy I am sure. Maybe during movie time, Bubbe can get in a small nap. HAHA. I am really looking forward to it. She may even help me do some cooking. She loves hanging in the kitchen and helping me.
I am now off to work cause the only thing left to write about is what hurts and I ain't going there.

Great weekend to one and all.

Day 21

2011-06-30T19:09:00.000-05:00

Three weeks down and 9 more to go. I pulled another stupid yesterday and completely didn't take the pills. I was so far off anything normal, I just never did it, didn't think of it, zip nothing. Made for a very bad night too and I went off the deep end of eating and feeling bad. Things hurt that sure didn't hurt before. UGH Seems each day brings something different and I am always learning. It just is what it is.
Today was sad. Martha had her memorial service and while she planned it all and it was nice it is always sad when someone dies. I know I have survived some of the worst and said good bye to some close loves so maybe this wasn't as bad as it could have. Just sad and reminds me to live life each day and get the most out of it. If I learned nothing else in the last few years, it is certainly that. I try to do that. I take the good and bad and I know there is a reason for it all. I might not know the reason for everything at once but time will tell and in the meantime there is good everywhere, you just have to look. I have also realized that even the hard times and believe me there are days that are hard and very challenging, there are still others dealing with so much worse. So just take what you can and make the most of what you got. That is the way I am dealing with each day. I am hoping that there are things that going to resolve themselves, that there are relationships that will fix themselves, there places to discover and new things to try. I also know some things are going to end and this is going to be good and not so good but again it is life. Some things are just meant to be and I will deal with whatever comes my way. It is what it is!!!. That is the way I roll.
Martiza was here today and coming home was a good thing. Clean and fresh and I just love it. LOL I did the stupidest thing every this morning. I ran the dishwasher, which is something I rarely do with just little old me but try to once in a while when Martiza is coming. She empties it. HA Anyway I use the tablets and had an old one and it was hard so for some stupid dumb reason I thought it would be smart to put 2 of them in. Did you know if you put in to much soap the dishwasher would overflow and water run out onto the floor??? Apparently, I didn't know that. Now the dishwasher happens to be 20 years old but for now I am going with the soap thing. We will just wait and see. I need to run it without soap and see what happens so I have put that on the weekend list.
Tomorrow the guys at the office and me are going for drinks and darts. Going to be fun and I am looking forward to it. It will be good for all of us to have a couple of drinks and laughs. We did this once before and had a blast. Happy hour=cheap drinks and they have free snacky food and darts. Sounds like a great way to start off a 3 day weekend. Then Saturday I have a hot date with a cute kid who happens to light up my heart. Then we will see what we see.......
I am now off. Night all.

Day 20

2011-06-29T07:51:00.000-05:00

Hello World. I so wish my tummy would get well and stop hurting. SIGH**
Ok enough of that. The good news is that I was down 3.2 pounds at WW last night. I am not jumping for joy because tomorrow I could be up 4.0 because you see that is how I roll these days. What I am grateful for is that I am up and down on a regular basis and not just up and up. I am grateful that my clothes still fit and are mostly comfortable. I am grateful I am not pouring myself into the clothes to find something to wear. I am grateful that the water in the tub went down the drain this morning instead of backing up. I am grateful I have a great boss who never said a word about my being late yesterday and was actually grateful I stayed late to finish something for him. Yeah I know I have a lot to be thankful for and I am. I just wish my tummy would get on with the program but maybe that will happen when I finish the magic pills. In the meantime, I might be improving in that the original symptoms of the UC seem to be better. Oh and the good news was if I have to go up the level to the next toxic medication, I can. Seems strange to call that good but at least I don't fall into the 11% of folks who will have a really negative reaction to the medication. Here is hoping we don't even have to go there.
I came home yesterday to find that the estimate the jerk left was the cost written on the back of his business card and taped to the brick on the front of my house. Seriously, this is a professional way to do business. ARS you will never step foot on my property again. Yes I knew better. Yes I was backed up againist the wall and yes I now have the name and number of an independant plumber. Gosh I can't get over how awful people can be to others.
I have started the best book. It is Sarah's Key. It caught me from the first page and is not the usual fiction I read. It is about a girl from France during the Holocaust. The story goes from her (Sarah) story to the present day of journalist living in France in Sarah's apartment and writing about when the jews were rounded up. I know sounds really heavy but it is really so well written and an amazing story. I had downloaded some time ago on my Kindle (I think Sissy told me it was really good and we run very much the same in our reading) and I have finally got caught up on the books I have downloaded so I just started it. It has been a long time a story has stayed on my mind and I have wanted to get back to read just to read. I am loving that.
Worked a bit on my canvas project. I am not 100% happy with it but it is a learning curve and I think the second one will be more of what I want even though I have not given up on the test one. One for home and maybe one for the office. I need some cute creative art on wall at the office.
Tomorrow makes 3 weeks of the magic pills. Seems like forever but at least I am moving along and at the end of day, seem to be dealing with it. So that is a good thing. Looking forward to my date with Mia on Saturday and then I have a few things running in my mind but nothing set yet. Going to start my list.
Have a good one.

Day 19

2011-06-28T12:28:00.000-05:00

Houston I think we have a problem.....It is never a good thing when you are in the shower and the water is up to your ankles. Yup never a good thing. Turns out my line is all backed up. Had to have ARS come out do the rooter router thing. Slam dunk and in 5 minutes pipes were moving water, toilets were flushing and things appeared to be normal. So the fast talking guy says he pulled up roots at the end of his thing and they were going to send the camera down. I didn't need to wait, they would call me. So off I go to the office. Within 30 minutes I get the call from an even faster talker who thinks he is really very slick....Good news and bad news. Ok give me the bad news....My line is trashed but the good news is they can fix it. Roll my eyes here. OK what is trashed about the line I ask. He starts off with now I don't want to say that the line was installed wrong but.......OK folks let's see the line was replaced when I first moved in the house and that was 35 years ago. HUMMMMM I am thinking it was installed just fine...strike one for you Mr. Fast talker.......now how much are we talking here.....3500. Excuse me did you say thousand?????? Well yeah....strike two Mr. Sleeze....ok I am not prepared to do that so please leave me the estimate at the front door. Well I don't want to have to come back to deal with it and I don't want the sewage to back up again in your house (wasn't quite sewage that I had an issue with but I am not going to argue with the fool) so if you do it today I can do it for 2800. OK strike 3 and you are so out of the game. I wouldn't use him even if I were inclined to jump into replacing the line. First off I have no way of knowing that they actually filmed my line, if there is really a break (and I doubt it). My guess and after talking to several people a pretty good guess, is that it needed to be cleaned out and will probably be just fine. I am going with that for now. Everything worked just fine within seconds and took the fool all of about 10 minutes to clean it out. These jerks really think I am stupid and was going to jump right into spending that kind of money. Oh that just pisses me off. OK enough of that. I am good to go now.
I have been playing around with what started off a protein drink. The original recipe called for almond butter but I had Better Than Peanut Butter and used that first. Tried it out the other day with Jo and we really didn't like it much. So I thought about it and I bought some choclate Almond Breeze and tried that this morning, along with a couple of tablespoons of sugar free instant vanilla pudding, a frozen banana, 3/4 crushed ice, 1 tsp almond extract and mixed it all up in the blender. It was really good, thick and creamy like a milkshake. Caculates to 1 point and that is for the Almond milk. The only draw back is that as a protein drink it really doesn't have any in it. So I need to actually get some almond butter or try the peanut butter again. But I loved it for a nice refreshing cholcolate sort of snack like milkshake and since I can't have ice cream this was really good. I also froze some blueberries so I will try that and strawberries as well later on. I know there is peaches and all sort of frozen fruit so I will be checking into that as well. If nothing else it is a good fast low point something to put in my tummy in the mornings to help coat before I start the pill taking. It seems even my daily stuff makes me nauseous these days. I am hoping that goes away but in the meantime I am learning to deal with it and live with it. Life is certainly a challenge these days but hey the alternative isn't one I would consider so.........
I also started a new project last night that I am really excited about. It is a canvas 3d type of project and I vision it hanging in my office and also an art journal of sorts. Fun play and good creative outlet for me. Should finish those up in the next couple of days and be ready to move on to cruise album and Mia's book and weekend purge, organize, clean and who knows what else......

Day 18

2011-06-27T14:48:00.000-05:00

Here are are the 4 of us for our 2nd annual reunion. Jo in her cast, me, Suzanne and Lori at the end. In the middle is Esta and Lori ran into her and so she came for lunch. At the risk of being really tacky, some things never change and I won't be seeing her again. Enough said. Lunch at Lopez was wonderful and the rest of the day spent at Lori's house was really fun. We chatted and talked and laughed. We just were together and I loved renewing some great friendships.

I couldn't tell you why this picture is sideways but I sure can't fix it so the heck with it. Yes Jo is in a cast and on Friday I blinged her out. My talents are far and wide. I loved doing it. I just don't get why people want to keep reinventing me and what me to do and be things I don't want. If one more time someone said oh you could make a fortunte start your own business.......OK people I have a job I love and I have a hobby I love and I am very happy. I make a decent living. I go home at 5 and have a life. Why do folks think having your own business is great. I try to explain.....I was raised in a family where we had our own business and never had personal lives, never went on vacation, my folks worked all the time. Anyway I know people mean well but I am here to say.....I AM HAPPY WITH MY LIFE AND DON'T WANT TO REINVENT WHAT I DO OR HOW I DO IT. Enough said on my soap box. I guess it just rubbed be the wrong way since the conversation after seeing somebody for 40+ years revolved around money, new homes that total 8500 sq ft for two people .....get the picture right. OK I am being really tacky and bitchy and you know what.....I can be. So there.
I will say that Lori was very kind to open her home to us as we hung out all day, ate her food (thanks for keeping it low cal too and the scale was pretty good to me today). I loved reconnecting with Suzanne and it is my hope to get together with these ladies and develop new and different friendships. Yes people come and go for many reasons and I am open to the changes life brings, as long as I want the changes. I am discovering things about myself this year. It is challenging but one of things I am really getting it to rely on me for me. I am learning that I need to make less an effort elsewhere and concentrate on me. Sounds very selfish but I think it is time for me to be so. I need me to take care of me and that is what I am doing. Things are shifiting some will stay and some will go and while I might miss what goes I will remember the memories and cherish the times and move on. I can no longer do one sided and am not going to. I can no longer always feel as if I am second best cause I am not so I am learning, growing and getting out more. I am venturing out even if it is on my own. OK so I spent 2 hours going up and down the aisle of new grocery store but hey it is something I have been needing to do and I did it. Out of the box. Last year it was men, this year it is healthy food. LOL I think I have made a wise choice. Who knows what else might just come my way. I almost actually went to Vegas all by myself but it was sort of late and I just wasn't going to spend that much but am thinking about going to LA soon. I may just get in the car and take off one of these days. Interesting.
Saturday I have a date with a beautiful, funny, talkative, smart girl that I love to the moon and back again. We are going to play, watch movies, and I think maybe go to Chucky Cheese. I think she might like that. Maybe even shopping if she wants. Well at least a run to the toy store I think is in order cause I gotta tell you Bubbe's house needs some things. We are going to read cause she loves to read and I love that she loves to read. We may scrap some cause she loves to play in my scrap room and I love that she loves to play in my scrap room. We may take some pictures cause she loves to take pictures with my camera and I love that she loves to take pictures. Matter of fact I think I am going to try to take pictures of her taking pictures of me. That might be really turn out to be a ton of fun. Going to be a really fun day and I am looking forward to Bubbe and Mia bonding time. She has been wanting to come over and play and Mom is going wedding shopping so it is a really good time. I imagined we will go home later that evening cause she is still not at the point of sleeping away from Mom and Dad. I am guessing by then I will be a tad tired too. LOL I am very excited about it.
I have plans to start on the cruise albums over the weekend as well and I need to take a look at my Project Life and OLW. I have completely forgotten all about them. I did go through my pictures on the computer last night and put what I think I want to print in a folder. I have 200+ and now need to look through those. I think I am missing some of my nieces and then need to see if I have gotten all from April. Although April is really good about always getting me pictures she has taken. I just don't recall seeing a bunch from her but I might have overlooked the folders. Note to self.......go back over the pictures. LOL Then I plan to upload to SAM'S and do a major print. I like to put my pictures in a 2up photo album by year so when I have some down time to scrap, I have the pictures all right there and can just flip through and scrap. I hate the time I waste looking for pictures and then supplies. That is something that has been going on for over a year now and I am going to have to make the time to actually work in the scrap room and get things back to being organized. I am thinking the smart thing is to just empty it completely and start over. That is a very scary thought but I find I don't even scrap cause it just takes too long to find anything. Then there is the back junk room as I call it.....OK let's not even go there. Yeah it is time to start the reorg as things have gotten of hand all over. Except for my kitchen pantry which thanks to my super duper fantastic organizer kid is still the most organized and beautiful as the day we did it. I can actually find stuff and I am even not buying repeat things cause I know what I have. Now it is time to move on and work on the rest of the house. Bathroom closet and under the sink is next up.
Oh while Jo was here I put in one of the Zumba DVD that just came and I love it......I think I am ready to get back to it and am going to try to do it when I get home. I am hoping the energy level will hold out but if not tonight then this week. I feel so so today and tummy is acting up so we will see how it is later. I have to decide if I am going to change meetings this week, just weigh tomorrow or stay. Chuck is on vacation so he won't be there and he is the reason I go Tuesday cause that is when he can get there. It is a late meeting (7:30) which is not my first choice and while I like the leader, I don't find her terribly motivating. I do think just going is good for me, which is why I do it and I have committed to myself to stick to it until I am done with the 3 months of magic pills. It doesn't mean I couldn't do just online but I think right now it is good for me to actually just go to the meetings so I suppose I will jsut go tomorrow and be good and stay for the meeting.
OK that is about it for today and I am now back to work

Week 3, Day 15

2011-06-24T08:21:00.000-05:00

I now have two weeks behind me and 10 more to go. Moving right along. My sweet girl tells me that 40mg is probably where I see the best start so that is another 2 weeks but I am hanging in there. The scale says I found 2 of the 4 I lost yesterday. Cracks me up in how much it goes up and down. I decided as along as I can stay in the range and actually still fit into my clothes, I am ok with that. I am back to tracking and counting what I am eating so at least I know I am staying in the guidelines that I should be and I am ok with that too. I see an improvement in the day to day symptoms so I am hoping that means the UC is going to remission but I guess time will tell. I thought that last time too and that didn't work out so well but then this time the steroids should be helping to push it in that direction. I still need to call and get the results of the blood work and get them to call in prescription for the new meds but have been waititng since I tool that last blood test later than we thought I would. Maybe later today we will just see. Then again I am not sure I want any bad news so maybe Monday will be better. LOL I have to say I am not expecting any since bad news travel fast, I figure I would have heard if something else was wrong. At any rate, I am going with that idea.
I finished up my frame and layout. Was going to take a pictures this morning but the battery on my point and shoot needed chargeing so that will have to wait until tonight. On my list to try to accomplish this weekend (in addition to girl's reunion...yeah!) is to load the pictures I want to print for 2011 and finish up Allan's tax return. I am looking forward to the weekend and just going to enjoy the good times.
Not much else going on so I am off to work. Hope you all have a good weekend.
XOX

Day 14

2011-06-23T08:22:00.000-05:00

The good thing is I now have 2 weeks behind me. The scale said I lost 3 pounds yesterday. Yeah right.....I am starting to find it humourous in trying to guess what it will tell me from day to day. The truth of the matter is yesterday was a better eating day and I paid attention and tracked what I ate so I was not surprised the scale smiled a bit this morning. It is by how much that tends to get to me but again I am getting used to things. Last night I worked some more on my 7gypsie frame and am almost done with it. I should finish that up this weekend.
Got the dreaded phone call about Martha passing away yesterday. We all knew it was coming. She went into a coma on Tuesday afternoon and I am at least grateful it didn't last long for her. She was an amazing lady and was a heck of an example in how to live, how to fight and even how to die. She could be a challenge at times and I think we all realize the "bad" times were more from her illness taking over than anything else. At any rate, I will always remember her fondly, be grateful for all she taught me and know she was in my life for a reason and that brings some good memories. The service (which she already planned to the last detail) will be some time next week. Her daughter is coming from England and will be here Saturday. Rest in peace Martha, you will be missed.
Tomorrow Jo will be here and I am really looking forward to some BFF time. Just talking and hanging and being with her is going to be great. Excited to see the other girls too. I love the yearly reunion and am so happy we make time once a year for this. I wish I thought a head enough to have done a mini book or something but I think that will just have to be my goal next year. This year is challenge enough right.......LOL
Seems we still have rain today and I was just thrilled when I got ready to leave and as the garage door goes up......oh rain and it is all wet outside. Beautiful thing indeed.
I am now off to work. Have a great day one and all!
XOX

Day 13

2011-06-22T09:58:00.000-05:00

This is going down hill fast and furious. First off I just completely didn't take my meds yesterday. Didn't even dawn on me until this morning when I went to replenish the pill holder that I bring to work to take them. Here is the drill. Each week I set up the steriod and UC med in a weekly holder. Since it is a ton of pills and decreases each week this seemed the easiest way to keep track of them. I have to take with food and do so in the morning when I eat breakfast (which is at work). Each evening as I get lunch together for the next day, I refill from the weekly the daily holder for the next day. Sounds like a plan. I just never took it yesterday. OK maybe that is why I was so so tired, cranky and off the deep end. Maybe the 2.2 increase on the scale had nothing to do with it. So I am now back on track, had a long talk with myself and let's just move on.
I am feeling really tired. I have a burning in my gut (yeah if I had not gone off the deep end last night that would be better by now) and a major headache. I think on top of everything else allergies have kicked in. Between the air quality (Wild fires aren't helping things at all) and now rain (yes oh glorious rain bring it on) things are all stirred up. My glasses are ready so that might just help. I actually wear computer/reading glasses over my contacts at work. Sounds even crazier when I write that then I first thought when I started doing it. Been doing that for 2 years now and since it seems to work, we are just going to ride with it for now. The last thing I need is anymore complications so if something is working, then it it just going to work. I am so ready to start feeling better but I am trying to takes things just one day at a time. I suppose I have little choice so just trying to make the best of a bad situation.
Moving along at work and settling in with all the new duties and responsiblilites. I am finding I love being busy and it is challenging. Going to be crazy at times but I am ok with that too. We will be moving October 1, 2011 so there is lots to do with that. I have just decided to start a database with contacts to handle the "we moved" notices. When I was with the judges I set up databases for their contacts and then when they did the annual party, all I had to do was a mail merge on labels for the invite. I am hoping it will work just as easy for this. Doesn't seem to be starting off that way though. LOL and I am not the least bit surprised. First the only program on my office suite I didn't have was Access. So I bought it online and after a little hiccup it is now installed and ready to go. Of course 8 years later it doesn't look anything like I remember but then I didn't expect it to. My idea is....as invoices, bills, correspondance comes in to add to the database so that come Oct 1 I won't be spending hours and days and weeks putting information in. It should be good to go and I figure I can add things on my down time. Seems around here it goes from crazy busy to oh yes I can now breathe again and I am all caught up to yikes here we go again. Just got to love that roller coaster ride.
I am loving looking out at the rain and sad that is stopping but hope it has made a dent in the crazy fires going on.
I am off to check out a database program.

Day 12

2011-06-21T08:08:00.000-05:00

Really it is only day 12. Sure feels twice as long. Yesterday was not a great day, although it ended really well with a great pep talk from my baby. She just gets it and me so that is a good thing. Here is today and it being better. The scale is not my friend today and that is no surprise since I went over the deep end last night. Don't really know why, I just did and enough said. Back on it today and going to WW tonight. Will just face the music and move on.
I actually did some scrapping on the 7Gypsie frame I am doing of Mia. It is really coming together and I am very happy with it. I have gift ideas and next need to get some pictures printed. I am lacking in 2011 pictures. I have taken them and even have them on the computer just not printed. I think I am going to do a half way year printing and go through them all and put the ones I want to print in a separate folder and then just upload them all at once to Sam's. Sound like a great project for the rest of the week. I am finding I need more structure and did really well over the weekend when I had my list going and was crossing things off. So here is to becoming more sturctured, organized and on task. Let's see how that goes.
Slept pretty good last night, at least I think I did but woke up tired and feel sluggish this morning. I thought the magic pills were supposed to hipe me......
Couldn't I at least get a couple of the good things since I seem to be getting all the bad stuff. UGH. Headache as well for the second day in a row. I really think it is the air quality between the fires and now the mugginess. It was kinda funny this morning. I went into the garage to put something away and heard this noise and thought Oh great what the **** is leaking now. Turns out it was rain!!!! So long since I have heard it, it just didn't occur to me that was what the noise was. Lasted all of 3 minutes but hey it was rain right.....Now I am really hoping and praying it will rain up North and do some damage to those terrible fires. It is really getting bad and we really need the rain.
OK I am now off to work.

Day 11

2011-06-20T08:09:00.000-05:00

Each day seems to bring new challenges. I take one step ahead to go 2 back. Last night proved to be the other on the rotation of sleeping. So that left me feeling slow and tired when I got up. I was really hoping that after such a good day yesterday that this morning I would have the energy to actually exercise. That was not in the cards, at least for today. The scale says I am up 2 pounds but I have to admit I am not putting alot of stock in that these days. I seem to go back and forth with the same 4 pounds and at the end of the day if I can do that for the duration then I am really ok with that. Means I have clothes to wear and things fit. So that is a good thing. I am now having issues with my nails. They are breaking like crazy and probably again due to the magic pills. I am not sure why they are so magic cause all the side effects are a real bitch to deal with. However there is little gas, no mucus or blood in my stools so that may be working and hopefully will throw this into remission. One can hope anyway. I am actually thinking of putting on the sculptered nails for a while but I just hate to get back into that again. Maybe the answer is a weekly manicure for now. Just going to have to wait and see. My tummy is super sensitive these days. Not really painful just aches all the time. If you push on it, then it hurts. I need to try to remember to eat smaller and more often. That seems to help. There is just way to much to try, to remember, to do and to track. Oh life you are such a challenge.
Girls reunion in 5 days and looking forward to it. Seems Lori has been contact with yet another gal from those days and she is going to join us for lunch on Saturday. That should be fun. Always room for one more.
I am now off to start this Monday and get some work off my list......
Here is to a good week.

Pictures

2011-06-19T16:39:00.000-05:00

As a true scrapper knows, when you get a shot that just catches it all it makes for the most wonderful feeling in the world. This is one of those shots. I carry that camera to almost every event in the hopes I get this short of shot. Where it all falls into place. Yeah a scrap page, a frame print and who knows what else will come. What a doll!

Mia is developing the desire to take pictures and she loves to use the "good heavy camera". I, of course incourage her all I can and I love it. Another common interest for the two of us. She told her Mom to smile for the camera. Then when Grandma got cut out she had to retake Grandma's picture.

She says to Mercy "Smile really well for the camera, Grandma". She just cracks us up.

Day 10

2011-06-19T10:05:00.000-05:00

I seem to be sleeping on a every other night basis these days. So last night I slept pretty good. I actually went to bed about 9ish and slept until 6 this morning. I got up, looked througha pretty sad little newspaper, had coffee and did some chopping. I cut up stuff for salad for the week, some fruit and cooked a few veggies. I have fresh fish soaking and took some chicken strips out to cook a bit later and I think I may just throw on some shorts and do an Archiver run. I need to pick up an album for my next project and I have coupon so I think I will take drive out and see what they have.
Yesterday was a good day. I went to Neiman's in the morning. I love seeing my cosmetic sales lady because she is such a great sweet lady and always makes me feel better. I need some skin care since the magic pills are doing a number on me and I knew she could help. I had a sample (I think Sissy gave me once upon a time) of a face scrub (up to now I never did those) from Sissley. I tried it the other night and it really felt great and made such a difference I thought I would get some. So this guy showed me a cleaning routine and I figured ok I really need to do this. YIKES....I had no idea how much I was spending and yes I know if it works then it is worth it but gosh I really had no idea. I had gone because I found myself out of the one things that I can not live with out which is an eyebase foundation that has a bit of glitter to it. I uses it all the time and it is just one of those things that I can not live without. Not an expensive thing either. So that and new pages for my make up were top priority. I forgot all about the pages which I am really bummed about cause mine are torn up. Again a minor thing but I am just ticked off cause I forgot. Now I could go back today but I got say it is a no make up, no contact day and I am not going to the Galleria. LOL So it will wait.
After that I came home, went to Walmart and then headed out for the 3 hour recital. Fun stuff. After that we had dinner at Kelly's. I have heard about this place. Very casual, all home made and very reasonable. I had the best grilled pork chops, salad and green beans. Corn bread and muffin too. LOL No I haven't weighed today. I do think I will wait until tomorrow. LOL Mia was very disappointed she couldn't come home and play at Bubbe's house. Now mind you, she doesn't want to spend the night but she wants to come and play. I do wish we didn't live so far away so she could do that. But we made a date for a Saturday (I think July 4 weekend) for her to come spend the day with me while Mom goes shopping for wedding clothes. We are going to have a great time. I can't wait.
This coming weekend is girl's BBg reunion. Jo will be here Friday night and I am really excited. We are going to do an early Mani and Pedi and then meet up with Lori and Suzanne for lunch at Lopez, then go to a ceramic place (how fun is that) and then a movie. I think we are going to see Bridemaids. We actually meet when we were teenagers (13 and 14) in a religious/social group and are still in contact. I think that is a really coool thing. I have to say Jo is the one that really stayed in touch with everyone and through her I have seen the others on and off but the last year we have made the effort to get together and just be with each other. We realized we let life get in the way and decided we just had to make the time. It is really a cool thing and I am looking forward to seeing the girls. It really hasn't been an easy year for any of us and I think this is just what we all need. A chance to just let loose, laugh, bitch and just be. Yup a really good thing.
Life is getting crazy busy and crazy period. Even my horoscope reflects that these days. I imagine I have stepped on toes and even might have irriated some and at the end of the day.....I don't really care. Yeah I know. I have found my selfish side. I am ok with that too, at least for now. You see I realize I have to take care of me and that is what I am doing. If you are here when I get back to normal, then ok and if not well bye bye sorry to see you go but that is the way it works. I just don't have the energy to keep everyone else happy. These days it just has to be me. Some days are better than others and all I can do is take it one day at a time.
I am out of here. Have a good one.

Day 9

2011-06-18T05:43:00.000-05:00

Up at 5 a.m. on a Saturday. This is insane and going to drive me crazy. The one thing I have not had an issue with in all this time is sleeping. Now I toss and turn and then turn and toss. This is one hell of a ride for sure. I am finding my patience level is thin to none. I am having long talks with myself about not overreacting and staying calm....yada, yada, yada. Just now I thought I would beat up my computer and was ready to just go buy another one. LOL Deep breath in and out. It is especially bad with Facebook. There is a several second delay on everything I try to do. Be it type or scroll. I thought ok maybe it is the mouse, so I changed the battery. Now the stupid thing doesn't work at all. So maybe the mouse needs to be replaced. This is a laptop and the mouse on the laptop works so still the delay so that is not even the issue. Now I just have no external mouse and I hate the one on the laptop. Note to self.....Better back up so you have all the pictures cause I think something is going on.
Today I am headed to Neiman's this morning for some cosmetics I am out of. I have the best salesperson and she always treats me like I am really something special so that is going to be really good. Then Mia's dance recital is today. Wish Sarah was here but I got roses from her and Trey Baby and I got her a pair of Ballerina shoes and put a chain for her and while I was at Hobby Lobby picked up the cutest little wood mirror stand with a drawer. On sale for 50% off so I figures a good prize from me. Going to be a busy busy day today and I think tomorrow may just be a stay in my jammies sort of day. I need to really buckle down and do some cooking. Yesterday was not a good eating day so I need to get a grip on that.
I am also hoping to get some scrapping in. I have to take pictures of the outside of my house so I can file my protest with the City on my Drainage fee. I agree with the assessment and all but I have an issue paying it on tree tops and shadows. That is hardly an imprevious surface. LOL Then there is some drawers to purge and organize on my to do list.
Next weekend Jo will be here and I am really excited about that. It is our 2nd annual BBG girl reuinion. There are four of us that meet back when we (well me cause I think I am the youngest and they were a year ahead of me) were 13. I admit Jo is the one I have stayed in touch with all these years and she is the one who has stayed in touch with the others but back when Marty got Bar Mitzvahed and again for Ross' on the cruise we were together and it was really great. Last year we decided to just get together and Jo came here, stayed with me for the weekend and we spent Saturday together. We had a great time and it was wonderful. So here we are a year later ready to do it again.. My our lives are somewhat different. Seems we all have had some major changes but that is life and it will be good to get caught up.
OK going to find something I think I can stomach so I can take the magic pills before I get going so I don't forget. Oh life you really are a challenge these days.

WeeK 2, Day 8

2011-06-17T08:11:00.000-05:00

Last night was in fact much better. I am ever so grateful for Nyquill. It never lets me down. LOL I only got up 2 and actually was able to go back to sleep. The down side is there is a slight fog the next morning but at least I slept. Got up at 4:30 and since the energy level is still not at an exercise level yet, I just get dressed and am ready to leave about 30 minutes earlier. That is good since I can just get to work and start getting stuff done off my list. This morning first thing I did was order this....

I am really excited and can't wait for it to come. A really awesome plate for my new awesome car. I thought about it and decided I should sleep on it. Got up this morning and thought yup I am so going to order that plate for my car. I had to really work at. Who would thought there were so many Bubbes out there. LOL

Today I go down to 11 pills and I realized that some things have gotten much better. Now I have to be honest with the queasiness in my tummy, I am not eating much and what I am eating is pretty bland so that may have something to do with less gas and discharge. Not sure but going to try to keep an eye on things and start off slow. It is really a double sided sword in that I think meds are to blame somewhat and it is better when I eat but getting to the point of eating is really hard. My new BFF mini saltine crackers. They are easy to get down and don't make me want to run to the john to puke when I think of eating them. Also the other thing is to sip Sprite Zero. So wierd cause I am not a soda drinker at all. Matter of fact I think it is one of the worst things ever invented. But Sprite really helps with the nasusea and since I really don't want the sugar, Sprite Zero works. I just sort of sip on it during the day. I think Yesterday I acutally drank 3/4 can all day so I guess it is not that bad. Just got to do what it takes for now.

The scale was kinder this morning to me. It was down 3 pounds. Yup I seem to play with 3 pounds these day.....3 up ......3 down. Sigh. Then again I didn't eat much yesterday either. So there you have it.

Looking forward to the weekend. Mia's dance recital is tomorrow and I can't wait to see the kids dance and hang with the Griffith family some. Marsha went home yesterday and I am hoping she gets better everyday. She is still on an IV with some stomach drains but she is home with home health coming in and Nurse Mom to take care of her. I think she will do better at home with family and love.

I am now off to work. Have a great one!

Day 7 - Part 2

2011-06-16T18:45:00.000-05:00

I actually managed to get the blood work done today. I just have no patience for stupid and irresponsible people. Turns out I went to Memorial Herman Memorial City at lunch today. I asked the tech about having to draw it before 2 and all the garbage I was given on Tuesday at the Sugar Land hospital and she told me that was totally wrong. Which I believe because I did call the Promethsus Lab (where the blood goes) and they said the samething. If it misses the delivery it is perfectly ok to store in the frig overnight. So the fool didn't know what she was doing and that just really ticks me off. But ok it is over and done with and the test can be done and we will see where it goes. Tomorrow I go down to 11 magic pills a day and I think they are helping so maybe I am finally going to see some progress.

Days fly by since I am so busy and I have to say I am really loving the challenge of my job. Gives me something to focus on instead of feeling lousy. My stomach was queasy all day today but that may have been to the lack of sleep. I am planning on taking some Nyquill tonight and am already pretty tired so I am hoping for sleep. Right after I got back from the office today, someone broke into one of the guy's truck. We really think he followed him from the bank. The video tape from the security showed that guy followed him into the parking lot, drove around and out 3 times before backing in next to his truck. Smashed the door window out and such a mess. The worst is that there is a security guard that drives around in a little cart. Now how she missed the same car coming in and driving around leaving and coming back 3 times is beyond me. Luckily enough Bobby came back from lunch and this guy was parked in his spot so Bobby was going to block him in but the guy spotted him and jumped in his car and took off. Police didn't even come out, they take a report over the phone. Hello...finger prints maybe. Nope they don't do a thing and we wonder why people get away with this stuff. Just amazing.
I just love coming home on Maritza days. The house is so nice and clean smelling and orderly. I do pick up after myself and it is really not a mess but there is nothing more soothing to walk in the door on a day she has been here.
I am out of here to do a couple of things and then my Kindle and I are going to bed.
Night all!

Day 6 or Maybe 7

2011-06-16T03:16:00.001-05:00

I am already losing track of the days. Today is Day 7 of actual pill taking so maybe I missed a day somewhere along the line who knows. What I do know is another night of tossing and turning and turning and tossing. I gave up at 2:45 and here I sit. Going to be a very long day indeed. The only good thing is I will probably be so tired it will be an early night tonight. I think the the allergy medicine I took with the D in it actually has the opposite effect on me. Allerga D is what I took and I think that is what may keep me up but I am not sure. I am taking some so much crap these days it is impossible to know what effects me and what doesn't anymore. I am itchy as well and although the back pain is better it is still there. I am actually considering trying a massage. I am leary since the last month or so when I get a pedi and sit in the chair and do the massage thing, I am sore and painful for several days after. That is also something new. Life is certainly becoming a challenge these days that is for sure.
Seems my computer wants to act up as well. Ok will have to deal with that one later on.

I have a layout started of Little Miss and I from The Tiny Miss Cowgirl Contest. I am really liking the way it is coming out. I am actually going back to some basics things and finding how much I liked it. Good old chipboard. I actually feeling like getting back to working in the scrap room. Both to scrap and to purge and organize. The best part of purging is the discovery of the stuff I have long forgot about. I so need to get cracking on a couple of project gifts as well. I also want to do a few things for the wall of my new office. I feel a list coming on.

Here is to a day that past fast. Here is to getting the stupid blood test accomplished. And here is to another day of the stupid magic pills being over with.

Day 5

2011-06-15T20:16:00.000-05:00

Found me 3 pounds heavier in the morning on the scale. Didn't go over on my points and I have to say I was really really bummed and angry. This is not going to be easy and may just be impossible. Ok that was the first thought and then I had the talk with myself. I went on about my business and got ready for work. It was going to be a very long, a very stressful day and it wasn't starting off very good at all. The 3 pounds was in the back of my mind because I just couldn't figure it out. Yeah I know all about the steroids but I really thought they were supposed to make you hungry and in turn you eat and in turn you gain weight. I had been so fricking displined and was under on points and I just couldn't figure it out. At the end of the day, I went to my WW meeting was actually up .2 if a pound. I think it was really my UC that effected the scale. It is all such a learning thing. Makes me crazy. Ok so I get to work. These days it is busy and one thing after another. I knew the guy in the back was getting let go and I had to get checks and forms and such together for the boss. I needed to go back to the lab where my doc was cause I have to have a special blood test. Long story short is that this lab is one of the few that does the draw for an out of state lab. The doctor's office forgot to give me the orders when I went last week so......my plan was to leave a few minutes early and head there before the meeting since they closed at 6. I called to make sure what time they closed. I had the dr. office fax me the forms and even discussed having to go there to have it done. I debated going at lunch but really needed to get my computer glasses taken care and Eyemaster had a special (why do I ever think I am going to be able to do the special) so I decided to do that at lunch especially since the lab was in the general direction of the WW meeting. 300. bucks later glasses ordered and back to work I go. I stay buried in my office working. Boss calls about 4:15 and he is on the way back and is going to talk to the guy and he wants me to get his key and card and answer any questions after he tells him. Oh fun I was so not planning on having anything to do with this at this time. Plan flies out the window. He comes in (have I said I can't stand the guy) so I take care of that and actually feel bad for him and I was very professional. Done and it is 5:10 so I make a mad dash for the lab, get there at 5:35 and that was no easy task on the beltway to 59 and give them the paperwork, wait for the vampire and she says to me....."We can't do this today. We have to draw this before 2:00 in the afternoon. We are not allowed to keep the blood overnight and the last shipment is at 2". And this my friends is why I don't carry a gun around me. I was so pissed I couldn't see straight. I got up and said I am not doing this, grabbed my paperwork and left. Sarah is probably still deaf from the screaming I did when I told her. I mean really this was the second attempt and I did all I could and then some to make sure all bases are covered. It just pisses me off when people think they are the only ones who work for a living and you should be able to come and go whenever. There is no I am sorry or we messed up or anything. I even called the lab and told them why I was coming, you would have thought someone would know what they are doing. Still haven't had it done and not sure just yet how I am going to handle it. I am hoping to go by my lab of choice at work and see if there is anyway they can do it.
Today was crazy busy again. We had a tour of the new building we will be moving to and our space preconstruction. It is really nice. Going to add 5-10 minutes to my drive and tolls but it is what it is. We had lunch at the little sandwich shop and it reminded me of my Mom and Dad and when they had the Bufferteria. Oh memories. Then we came back and got busy again. The days fly by with so much to do. Realized today when boss asked me to add to my "move" list that we would need a list of folks to send We Have Moved cards to. Oh about 200-300 or so. YIKES. I guess I will be starting a data base. Any suggestions anyone? Excel, Word or actual Data Base (forget what it is called but I think i have it). Did that years ago when I worked for the Judges so I should be able to figure it out. I figure I should start now so as things come in I can add names and address. That just makes so much more sense then waiting and trying to do it all at one time. Got out of work late and left so much to do in the morning and we have a new guy coming in to boot. I am already tired.
I managed to send some really quick emails to my 3 girls at camp. I feel bad I don't write much but there is not the time and I honestly just don't have much energy left. It is really hard to come up with what to say 3 different ways and not be bitching cause I feel so lousy. LOL I did manage though. I do see an improvement in the complete exhaustion and lack of motivation. I feel more like getting stuff done and am able to focus more on things. That is a very good thing. I have even been staying up to about 9ish in the evenings and getting up feeling rested. That is really good. I have not gotten back to exercise yet but I can see it coming and is possible. I haven't felt like that in weeks. Today in the mail came my Zumba CDs that I ordered and I am really excited about that. I hope it is what I think cause I think I will do that. I loved the classes but they changed times and made it way to hard so I am hoping this will work better for me. Gotta try.
OK I am getting tired and alarm says it is nightly med time so I am signing off. Sorry this is such a ramble tonight but just really wanted to get stuff down so I would have it later on for me. Again if you are bored or don't like it, don't read it. LOL

Tomorrow is a Martiza day and that always makes me happy!

Day 4

2011-06-13T08:49:00.000-05:00

Day 4 and I am finding that mini saltine crackers are my new best friend. I may not have to worry about over eating on the magic pills if the nausea doesn't go away. The bad thing is that it really is better if I eat. I am really working on finding that balance of what and how much. Still waking up several times during the night but the back pain is somewhat better. I do believe I have a tad bit more energy. Not quite to up to the exercise thing but motivated enough to get a few things done around the house. I actually was up until 9 last night and loaded pictures and posted them on Facebook, started a layout of Mia and I and actually printed the pictures to do a 7 Gypsies for me. So I think that is getting better.

I get my horoscope on an app I have on my phone and this is what it is for today.
This is the year of the Rabbit. According to Chinese astrology this is a year that should bring peace, harmony and the granting of many wishes. This prediction should be especially significant and applicable to you, Pisces. Your life recently has had many twists and turns and perhaps more than your fair share of hardship and worry. Now though, you are due to enjoy greater peace of mind, harmony among the people and situations in your life and increased financial security. This process has already begun and will most likely become more obvious in the weeks ahead.
Call me nuts but yes I check my horoscope everyday and I really find it is pretty close more often than not. This was a really great one to read this morning for sure. I have to admit the financial end has started so I have to believe the rest is going to follow. and t
Now I am off to earn that increased financial security.....
XOXhe granting of many wishes. Even though Western astrology differs from chinese astrology

Pictures

2011-06-12T21:11:00.000-05:00

This is from April. Just Little Miss and me. The look in out eyes says it all. Memory is the making. This child just makes my heart smile.

These are from graduation last night. Here is the before the party started and Mia was showing me some of her dance moves. She keeps me laughing for sure.

This is Mia dancing to Rolling Down The River aka Tina Turner. She had the house in stitches. She was supposed to perform with Mara, Nick and Rosie but changed her mind. She decided she would do it herself when half the house called "Mia, Mia, Mia". She was so cute. Allan video it and hopefully will send it so maybe I can post it. I can't say how cute she was. Do check out her studded high heels. Such a girly girl.

The Graduate....Mariah. Such a great amazing young lady that is going to go places.

Ok seriously.....the royal wave ain't got nothing on this party chick!!!!

Day 3

2011-06-12T07:59:00.000-05:00

Day 3 of the Magic Pills is here 83 more to go. I am happy to say that last night I actually slept better and woke up just 2 to go to the bathroom. I am experiencing about half of the expected side effects so far. Yes I realize I only have had 2 doses but then when you are taking 12 pills at a time.....LOL So far I am doing good with what I am eating but I always seem to do better on the weekends. Don't know why. Maybe cause I am just so darn busy. One day at a time and hopefully each day gets a bit better than the last.
Mariah's party turned out really nice. They were able to Skype with Marsha for a little bit so that was really good. Her presence was really missed but everyone braved on through and party was wonderful. Mariah is an amazing young lady and I can't say enough good things about her. It really gives me hope for the future that we still produce some wonderful, responsible young adults that can go out and do something good with the crappy world we have given them.
Today I am off with Aaron, Chuck and Gerta to The Home Show. Something so different and off the beaten path for me and I am really looking forward to it. It is time to make some major changes in my life and I am just opening myself to what may be around me. This has been a tough year. Sure as I knew 2010 was going to be a great year, 2011 is proving to be a very challenging year. One day at a time is about the best I can do right now. I am trying to depend on myself more and not expect so much from others. I find it interesting that those I expect the less from seem to be the ones always there. How funny life is! I must remember to get Aaron to take a picture of me today so I can at least have a before, during and after picture because you know at the end of the day I am a scrapper and this to shall need to be scrapped. Who knows who it might help 50 years from now. Will post some pictures later on from last night too. Just haven't had a chance to load them. Once again Little Miss stole the show. That child can always make my world a bit brighter. She never fails to make me laugh, put a smile in my heart and see things in such a wonderful way. I love you kid to the moon and back again!
Now I am off to shower and make up and that my friends make me 7 for 7 this week. LOL Oh for the weekends of no MAKE_UP.

Friday

2011-06-10T20:35:00.000-05:00

TGIF. It is going to be a heck of a weekend too. Tomorrow I am headed out to lend a hand to Megan and her family in the preparation of Mariah's graduation party. Marsha is still in the hospital, recovering from having her spleen out. It has been a tough month for her and the family and has made it really hard on Mariah, whom I think is just a doll. So I am off to do what little I can to ensure that the party is as wonderful as it can be. My camera and I will try to document all we can so she not only has the memories but Marsha gets to see some of it.
Aaron asked me to join him, Chuck and Gerta on Sunday for brunch and to go to the Home Show. My response to him was that I was going all day and late on Saturday with yesteray events, I just wasn't good company. His response was so very Aaron....I understand, I am here, you love the Predisone and here is why.....take care and do what you have to do. I thought about it for about 30 minutes and decided nope it is time go have some fun, get out with people that really care about you. I emailed Aaron back again and told him I was in if he still had that ticket. He was thrilled and I haven't looked forward to something this much in a very long time. I even offered to drive. Ok big surprise there right.
Things all around me are changing some good, some not so good. People come and go and people change and I realize it is all part of life. Some of that makes me really sad. I know there is not much I can do about it except look to the future and try to find some new.
In the midst of this mess there are still the constant. The love from my Sarah who knows and understand. This would all be so worth while if I could at least spare her hers. But instead we console each other when we can't stand it anymore. When you just want to scream ENOUGH already. Then we suck it up and move on. I am working on moving on. My doctor is doing a blood test to that if this doesn't work the next step is a different drug. Now I am not Sarah so I don't retain the words, names and such but the short of it is that is a heavy drug with some "nasty" side effects but the real problem is in 11% (Sarah you know our odds) it becomes toxic and in 1% of the 11% it is extremely toxic. So this test is to see if I fall in that catagory. If the Predisone and this new med doesn't work he doesn't want to waste the time doing the test cause it takes a week. I know I don't get it all either but for right now I am going to go with this treatment getting things undercontrol. I am amazed how much is effected. My colon is inflammed and full of ulcers. At first I had a lot of gas and had to go to the bathroom 2-3 times a day. That was somewhat embrassing but I thankfully I have a private office. LOL But now things are so out of whack and effect so much, I am just miserable all the time. My lower back hurts all the time, I am nauseous all the time and have been living on soup, crackers, sprite zero, green tea and oatmeal. I am tired all the time even though I go to bed between 7:30-8:00, my legs ache, my chest hurts on and off, sort of like flu like symptoms that come and go, headaches and today I noticed certain joints starting to bother me. So as much as I hate the idea of finally get close again to my goal weight and maybe not getting there just yet, I am ready to feel good again. Right now I would settle for feeling better. I am not really feeling sorry for myself (ok maybe I am a little) but documenting for my own info for later. So if you are bored or don't wan't to read, I am ok with that.
I started to go on to those that have stood by, showed their support....some more than others and then maybe I would forget someone's name so I am not going there. Just know I appreciate and love you all and you know who you are so I don't have to name names. Those that send me a quick email after reading my blog (not that I really understand why anyone finds this interesting but ok), the phone calls, the advice because you just know, you just get it! I love you all and it really does help.
Oh and I love this one......when I was telling the doc about being really tired he said something about the Vitamin D I was taking. I said yes that the other doc just up it to 2000iu from 1000iu. He said well that would explain being more tired this week. Apparently Vit D make s you fatigued. This part of the conversation played out in my mind as I talking the morning meds and realized that was when I was taking Vit D. So I am going to move that to the night meds that I take and see if it makes a difference. What amazes me more than anything is that in this day and age there is still so much unknown and so much that is trail and error where medicine is concerned. I just don't get it but "IT IS WHAT IT IS" and all i can do is deal with it one day at a time. That is what I intend to do.
Now bring on the weekend and a day with Little Miss.
XOX

Life

2011-06-09T20:32:00.000-05:00

Oh life you are such a challenge these days. Up and down and down.....could we have the up now please.
I know it has been a while and I am not sure where to even begin. So let's start with the good. To make a long story short I am now flying solo at work and with the added responsibilities came a pretty nice raise. I have bought a new car. A 2011 fully loaded Maxima and just love it!!!! Drives like a dream and has all the bells and whistles I could ask for.
The bad news is that I have been feeling worse and worse and last week or before I decided I needed to call the doctor to see just how long I needed to give the medication to take care of all the symptoms of my Ulcerative Colitis. Turns out it wasn't working at all. This last week things have really gone down hill and today the Dr. prescribed steroids for the next three months along with a change in meds. I am exactly 6 pounds away from goal weight. Just this morning I thought to myself how much better my clothes were fitting and looking and how much more comfortable they were. I know that sounds so vain and yes I know that I just want to feel good again and will do what it takes to get there. But damn it, things were just falling into place and here we go again. So yes today I am feeling sorry for myself and tomorrow I start over, do what I have to do and start the journey back to being healthy and feeling good. In the meantime, I get to be pissed off, feel sorry for myself and curse the fates of the world. LOL
I have finished Mariah's book and it came out fabulous. I even managed to do a page of Bobby and his granddaughter at her college graduation and framed it for him. He was thrilled. His lady friend was kind enough to mail me the pictures and he really loved it. He is such a nice guy and it really made me feel great to be able to do something for him. He is always doing stuff for me so this was great. I am now ready to get back to working on Mia's book and starting the cruise album for a friend that will be cruising with us in October. Now come on September and Boston!!!!!
Now off to bed. Early I know but seems I need 10 hours these days. I am counting on more energy as I being to balloon out. LOL
XOX

Quick Post

2011-05-23T14:37:00.000-05:00

Fun weekend and not to crazy for once. Sarah, Trey and Madeline were here for Mara's shower. Ok well Trey didn't come for the shower but came with the girls. LOL Sarah, Mads and I did some shopping on Saturday morning for her camp clothes. After that we headed home and then lunch at Red Robin and then Sarah and I went to Sam's and Walmart. Came home and got stuff ready for dinner and Trey grilled. Dinner was good and after that we spent a lazy evening watching movies from On Demand. It was a really nice day.
Sunday was Mara's shower and she got a ton of great stuff. I played photographer and I think I got pretty much the whole thing. I sure hope so since I took over 200 pictures. There were some good ones I think. At any rate she will have plenty to pick from and remember the day.
Health update...not so great. I am still tired all the time and just not feeling good. Sure wish things would settle down and get back to a "norma" state of being. The Dallas guys want me to come this weekend and I am thinking about it. I just don't know if I am up for the drive again. The good think is it is a three day weekend. I just have so much to get done at home...Might just go. I would love to see the girls before they go off to camp and they are both getting their wisdom teeth out on Friday morning...so we will see.
I did finish up the graduation book and just need to make a card and it is good to go. Ready to move on and I think may take a quick break and try to catch up some on my Project Life....Oh right one of the many To Do for this weekend. LOL
This week is the first with just me handling the office. WE are going to see how it goes before deciding if we need to hire someone. Another long story I don't want to go into.
I also must remember to take pictures of the graduation book but I promise not to post all 55+- layouts....LOL Yup there is a lot.
OK back to work. Have a great one.
XOX

YIKES

2011-05-19T08:18:00.000-05:00

Seriously, I have not posted since Easter. Oh shame on me and where has the time gone. I am just snowed all over the place and taking each day at a time. Busy is just the best description and looks like that is going to be the pace for some time to come.
So let's see I should just skip over and pick up where I am. LOL A quick recap of highlights thought is in order (OH Project Life I really will get to you so I can remember the good stuff) Mother's Day was good. I, like my mother, always believe that if you take one day a year to show/tell me you love me then don't bother. My kids seem to get that since they are always showing me how much they care but they also like to make Mother's day special too. Sarah, Trey and Madelyn sent me very pretty flowers. Yes took pictures, yes I posted on Facebook and no I don't have it on my computer here so I can't post it. I have learned one biggie this year.....I really like getting flowers and I like being surprised at work by flowers. LOL Allan, Megan, Mia and Mara gave me a toe ring, anklet and necklace. All very much me with hearts. Matter of fact the anklet has three hearts on it and my first thought was me and kids. Then Megan told me Allan picked it all out. Now that is really very cool and means so much. Yeah I have really great kids!!!!
Last weekend I was in Dallas with Kimmy for the Crop for Cops. We had a really great time with a lot of laughs. It was really fun with April and Sarah even though we missed Sissy and Ellen but hopefully they will be back next year. It has become an annual thing and really great cause. I actually accomplished a ton of stuff. Actually met my goals and that was awesome. The graduation project just has some finishing touches. I even got a two page layout done for Little Miss' yearly album. I am just about ready to start on a cruise book project and work on the scrap room as well. Such big goals.
Work is getting ready to get really crazy but will have to go into that later.
Just wanted to post a quick hi I am alive and just dealing with life post.

Easter

2011-04-24T21:05:00.000-05:00

Aunt Megan and Mariah. I realized there are few members of Megan's family that are never in pictures. I aim to fix that. I just adore Mariah. She is Marsha's (Megan's sister) oldest daughter. She is a senior this year and has been accepted to Sam Houston. She is darling with a strong sense of family and has a very special bond with Mia. She is part of the childhood program at school where Mia goes and that has helped that bond along. When I first met her she always went out of her way to be very friendly with me. Through the years I have gotten to know her and love how very special she is.

Hot stuff in her new sunglasses. The fact she stopped so I could take her picture was really very cool

Confetti eggs and can I say they were hard this year but no one is more determined than little Miss. Took her several knocks but she got it open. The best part is she really thinks she is being so sneaky when she comes up to smack you with it and laughs when it finally works. Such fun watching.

Ok let's get this show on the road.

She doesn't really care how many she got. Just ask her and she will tell you she got the MOSTEST!!!!
A great time had by all and I love being around for the pictures. More to come.

Hello World

2011-04-21T08:13:00.000-05:00

Time just gets away from me. I honestly didn't take many pictures over the weekend but even still have not had the time to load pictures so it is not like I could add any right now. The weekend in Big D was fabulous and I loved getting to spend time with the family. Baby B was amazing and I never get tired of watching her perform. If you didn't know she had a broken wrist you certainly couldn't tell. What a trooper that kid is. That cast must weigh at least 5 pounds and she didn't miss a beat. Sissy and I got stuff planted in record time this year and even went to three different places and had time to do a Kohl's run. Lots of laughter and fun. We found out that went the dirt is really wet and muddy it does it make it easier and faster to plant. LOL Saturday the girls spent the day in the mall. Sissy, me, Dani and Sarah spent some time and money at The Loft, The Limited and Nine West. By the way, I am returning the shoes that I had to have since turns out my foot does some sliding. Let's not tempt fate. We all know I have a hard time walking without any shoe issues. LOL We did a lot of eating out and I tried really hard to make better choices and turns out I didn't do so bad. Weigh in had me down 2.2 pounds. Onward I go. Since I was off on Monday I hit the gym for a 9:30 am Zumba class. It was fantastic. I loved it. Of course I did since it is not at a great time for me and the teacher doesn't teach any night classes. A very nice and friendly lady told me that Wednesday night is a great class. So I am all excited and check the schedule (after convincing myself I really can do a 6:30 class) and turns out the fricking class is at 7:30. There ain't no way this girl is going to make a exercise class at 7:30. At least not now. So I have really thought about it a lot and on Tuesday (WW night) we had a sub and she is actually the leader from Wednesday, which is a 5:30 meeting. So maybe if I do that and then go to the gym and change a 7:30 class won't be so bad. Yeah right who am I kidding. I am going to go back to the board and see what else I can do. I do know that I am not giving up even if I do the treadmill and machines. Another option might be to work with a trainer some and learn the machines. One day at a time. I will say I am already feeling better with a regular exercise routine.
I am fighting off the new car bug that comes and goes. I really want to find the time to test drive some cars. I keep telling myself no car note, no car note but then the bug bites again. Actually it is not a new car I want as much as all the new bells and whistles that I want. LOL Not rushing into anything.
Going to be another busy weekend with lots of fun, laughter, time with friends and family. Dinner tonight with girlfriends, gym tomorrow morning and a photo shoot with Mariah, scrapping on my projects and errands on Saturday and Easter at the
Griffiths for the annual Easter Egg Hunt and lunch. Camera is going to be busy this weekend which means I really need to find time to load and edit as well. What I wouldn't give to be able to be retired and maintain my lifestyle. Heck I would settle for 4 days a week.
OK snowed so I need to get cracking.
Happy Pesach Happy Easter Happy Weekend!!!!
HIT IT!
XOX

HUMP DAY

2011-04-13T08:24:00.000-05:00

Seriously it is only Wednesday. This is turning out to be a very long short week. Does that even make sense? It is just some very long days. It seems there is stuff going on every evening making for a late night and late to bed. So it is nonstop but the days are slowly running out before I leave for Big D. I was thinking in the shower this morning that I would go to the gym after work for a quick walk/run then come home and pack. Then it hit me.....it is Wednesday....Wasn't this the day that Mia asked me to go to Toy Story on Ice....Oh my I think it is....Text Allan and yup it certainly is 7:30 tonight. YIKES.....I do have most of what I need laid out but I am a nervous sort when it comes to being packed and ready to go on a trip. (Thanks Mom) I did start laying things out on Sunday but then thinking I had all the time in the world.......I am going to Dani's review (x 2 times) so I need something decent to wear. Since I am few pounds heavier and very bloated (thank you flare up) clothes don't fit the way they should so I have to actually try stuff on. Thinking I could do that tonight, I sort of put it off. HAHA Wonder if they will throw me out or even care what I really look like. Fat and bloated....oh what the heck do we really care? LOL
I have a doctor's appointment this morning at 11:15 about my feet. My family will be like YEAH FINALLY....since I always and I mean always complain about the burning when I wear tennis shoes past 30 minutes. I can't tell you the times my sister has taken me to the TENNNIS SHOE place and the fortune I have spent. We wait, I exercise and yes 30-40 minutes later the burn starts. Anyway this is a guy referred to me by the hand doc I saw on Monday. I couldn't believe when I called I actually got an appointment the next day but I grabbed it. So I decided this morning after the appointment, I am going home to eat lunch and maybe I can actually finishing pulling the clothes I need so tonight and the in the morning I can just throw it in the suitcase. I actually have some time tomorrow since I am on a later flight but I want to water the plants and grab dinner so I am least limiting the points for tomorrow. Whole new ball game in counting the points again but since I have been measuring and tracking for several weeks it should not be so stressful to start again. I probably should not have stopped the last couple of weeks but it is what it is and I will just start again. I love that the new program of pointplus looks at the whole food pyramid as a whole. Now it takes calories, fat, fiber, protein and carbs to come up point value. This is what I was tracking anyway because in my case I am trying to BALANCE what the recommended amount is.
I am hoping for a bit slower week next week so I can pictures loaded and pictures scanned. Want to catch up with my Project Life and OLW and still have Maraih's book to work on. I am about halfway through on that and then hope to move forward on the cruise books I want to do.
Now I am off to work. Stay tuned for the feet report....LOL
HIT IT
XOX

Another Week

2011-04-12T08:30:00.000-05:00

WOW here we are another ~~Monday. Tuesday.~~ My plan was to actually do this post last night where I could add some pictures from the weekend. Yup that was the plan but plans change. I just did not get to it last night. Wasn't lazy just ran out of time.

Great weekend. Saturday the fella and I went to the nursery and bought some roses, tomatoe and hibiscus plants and got them all planted. Then he grilled steaks, fish and sausage and fresh veggies. A great dinner. Makes me realize once again I am stuck in a nonhealthy eating pattern that is not helping with this recent flare up and probably making it worse. I am bloated, nothing fits right, sores in my mouth again and then there is the usual digestive symptoms. Oh life you are such a challenge these days. That being said I have rejoined Weight Watchers and am going to the first meeting tonight. As much as I really don't like night (especially during the week) meetings I realize this is the only way it is going to work for now. So the meeting is at 7 p.m. and I believe it is a leader that I really liked. We'll see. I have not started tracking yet but will. I am ready.
When I got home last night after an errand and went out to water, I so remembered what a pain in the butt it was. So between that and going to the gym after work the good thing is that I don't sit around looking for something to eat. I am making myself work through the being tired all the time (part of the flare up). Today I am actually going to meet Jorge (yard man) so we can walk the yard and I can show him what beds and such I want done. I am ready for a pretty yard again and will just have to bite the water bullet. LOL
Sunday I headed out to Galveston County Fair for Mia who was in the Tiny Miss Cowgirl contest. All I have to say is it is rigged and the judges are morons who wouldn't know cuteness or talent if it bit them in the butt! Now she got a bag of crap which made her happy, I got a ton of pictures (remember that plan for last night....that was part of it) so I was happy. At the end of the day it was great cause I got to spend time with cutest kid ever and she just makes me happy!
this weekend I am off again. This time to Big D and see the family. It is time for Sissy's annual planting. She brings me there every year and plant her pots with lots of pretty color, trim her roses and laugh our butts off. We actually have it down to a science since this is like the 5 or 6 year. One year she spent a fortune and had her yard guy do it. It was ugly and it didn't last the summer as I recall. I gave her such a hard time she finally said I should just pay for ticket and you should come and we should do it. And so it began......It is really a great time and we have a ball.
Now I am to work and will hopefully get some pictures posted soon.
Have a great one!
HIT IT<
XOX

Thursday

2011-04-07T09:51:00.000-05:00

2 for 2 in the gym area. Went last night and did the treadmill. Managed 50 minutes with 45 sec average run every 5 minutes. Ended up doing 3 miles. I am very happy with that. Now I have the issue with my feet again and looks like I am going to have to see a foot specialist. My boss just gave me the name of one he uses. Most who know me well know this has been an ongoing problem. I have spent a fortune in shoes and socks and still have the problem where after 35-40 minutes of exercise the bottom of my feet start to burn. Yesterday it was only one foot so I just kept going but I am going to have to do something. I am going to see about the finger first and go from there. See the hand specialist on Monday. Just think I consider myself healthy. Maybe I should revisit that. I have to admit that I am also having a flare up with my Ulcerative Colitis. I am thinking the cream rich food I had probably kicked it off. Another reason why I need to get back on the program. I really need to revisit the food eating and me once again. OK one day at a time and one alignment at a time. That is my plan.
This weekend looks like another busy fun filled one. I have a date with the fella to go see the bluebonnet and have a picnic. Sunday Mia is in Tiny Miss Cowgirl talent contest at the Galveston County Fair. Makes for a busy and full weekend and I am looking forward to it. Now I really need to get back to the list making cause my time is for and few between now a days. LOL I love that too.
OK off to work. Have a super fabby day.
HIT IT!
XOX

Hump Day

2011-04-06T08:19:00.000-05:00

Hello Hump day and yes we are a day closer to the weekend. I got myself back to the gym yesterday. I kept telling myself all day that I was going to go. By the end of the day I was really looking forward to Zumba class. OK it has been a long time since I have been. I was a little nervous that I would look real stupid walking in and not knowing if I would remember how to sign in. LOL I even called Sarah so she could remind me. She didn't answer so I put on my big girl pants and went anyway. Took a second and I had the gal laughing but I did it and now I know how. So off I go and I am feeling pretty good cause it is all familiar and I am falling right into step. I go off to the class and met the teacher and OK she is not what I thought but what the heck she was nice enough. Dressed pretty funny to me.....Like regge (sp???) so now I begin to think uhoh........Should have headed to the treadmill. It was awful. The music was terrible, the steps and movements were awful and while she was nice enough she was a terrible teacher. She never even gave any instruction on the steps and it was more black dancing than any Zumba dance I have ever done. Seriously.....anyone who knows me knows I am not the most coordinated person around but rap and that sort of dance.....SO NOT ME. I didn't let myself quit even though I thought it was stupid. I actually think I work harder with my morning routines but I braved it out but I can promise this girl won't be back. That is really a big bummer in that the class is at the perfect time. I want to do Zumba and it is at 5:30 which is perfect as I go right after work and I am there early enough to get a parking spot, locker and spot that I want in the classroom. UGH You guessed it only class at that gym at 5:30 for the whole week. So ok again suck it up and put on my girl panties and find another way. For now I am going to go back to the treadmill and try the weight machines again. I am thinking about a trainer but I just don't know that they do more than just push push you. I need to learn the ins and outs of the machines. How much weight and proper form etc. I may talk to them since I sort of know what I want. I need to get back to it first. There are some classes at the other gym at 6:30 which would allow for going home and changing and then class but the only problem with that is once I get home it is so easy for me not to leave. For now I am just going to make myself do something 3 times a week and go from there.
Mia is in Tiny Miss Cowgirl contest this weekend. I can't wait to see her. I missed seeing her dance last weekend and the picture they sent me was so cute. She is dancing again at the end of the month so I will get some pictures then. Wow it has been well over a year since I did a photo shoot with her. Everyone is so busy but I really need to get her out and about. Would love to do something with her in the bluebonnets. Heck would love to just play with the camera in the bluebonnets too. Another bucket list item.....My camera and how to really use it. Man I need to really find my bucket and put things in it. LOL Starting to sound like a scrap page or mini book or.....STOP I say there is enough on my plate....Danger Danger I am thinking again. Sigh I would love to be retired and do just the fun stuff........OK on that note I am now off to work.
Have a great hump day and remember to laugh today......even if it is at yourself:)
HIT IT!
XOX

Hello Monday Opps I Mean Tuesday

2011-04-05T13:39:00.000-05:00

Since I had Monday off I am running a day behind. LOL Tomorrow it will feel like it never happened but I have the proof. It was a fabulous weekend with these great folks. Sheryl, Mel and Aaron. Aaron, Sheryl and I drove down to Lafayette on Friday afternoon to Mel's house. Mel is the best hostess I have ever had the pleasure of being invited to. I was waited on all weekend and met some really cool folks. The food was amazing. Oh can Mel cook. We had pulled pork sandwiches, Crawfish bisque, French toast like I have never had before and a fabulous Crawfish Boil. That was just the main meals too. Add wine, shots and who knows what else. LOL It was a great time and a much needed weekend of R&R and lots of laughs.

Friday night after a couple of drinks (or three or four or who knows) we started talking about a tattoo. I have talked about this for a long time and never had the opportunity so we decided the three of us (Sheryl, Aaron and I) were going to go on Saturday. Of course everyone thought we would forget about it too. Well I woke up Saturday thinking about and just knew I wanted to do it. Sooooo this is the really cute guy that did mine.

and this is the really cute tattoo that he designed for me. I went in with a very rough sketch of what I thought I wanted and when he drew it I knew it was going to be to big and just didn't hit me. So I told him I wanted a heart and somehow a C in it and this is what he came up. I loved it. The other side even looks a S and he didn't know my last name started with an S. I took it as a sign it was meant to be. No seriously when I saw it, I just knew. Why you might ask????? Because I wanted to, because I can and because I wanted to!!!!! LOL Oh by the way I love it!!!!

I didn't do purple because I felt like red was for a heart and I didn't do it all red cause I wanted the C to stand out. Oh yeah crazy me and no telling what I will do next. Hey you only live once and my responsibilties in life have been taken care of. Since I don't have to answer to anyone I am pretty much a free agent so why not.....If you should not like it or something about me.....Too bad so sad....No I am sorry or regrets here. It is all about living. Now where is that bucket cause I have something to cross off that list.

Love Ya Friday

2011-03-25T08:41:00.000-05:00

Not counting the weekend, Friday is my favorite day. I just love the idea of two days ahead of me for taking care of and doing what I need and want. Never works out the way I plan but it is a great feeling just the same.
I love that the hosiptal tech at the lab knows me by name, calls me by name and will jump me ahead of others to draw my blood. She told me today she knows I am in a hurry to get to work. I think she is fabulous (and no I don't know her name). She has always hurt me the least and now that I seem to be going once a month, it is nice to have someone that I feel like knows me and is interested in how I am doing and looks out for me. I am thinking of taking her a small something next time. Any ideas???
I may actually try to get to the nursery and pick up some roses and a hibiscus or two. I also want to get a couple of vegetable plants to plant in containers. I don't want to go crazy but just a couple of rose bushes for the front and the hibiscus along the fence in the back. Those are the iffy ones cause watering those is the biggest pain so I really have to think this through. HAHA. I need to really take stock of the back yard and see what I need the yard guy to do.
Next I have realized I don't really have to cook 4 or more veggies for during the week. I am working on portion control and I realize I don't need (and probably shouldn't have) 3 or 4 veggies with each meal. Imagine that. You are probably rolling your eyes right about now but I realize how little I really knew/know about the food groups, portions and food pyramid. I learning and I also realize it is never to late to learn. The internet can be amazing.
Speaking of learning, I am making progress with Photo Shop too. The class I am taking is doing what I hope it would and that is to give me enough confidence and determination to figure things out. I still have a long way to go but I can actually open the program and do stuff where as before I would open it, look and close it right up. LOL Didn't even have a clue where to start. Now I getting a grasp on layers and adding brushes and such. It is all very cool and I can't wait to actually start using it on my pictures. I have a great idea for some matting where I can take journal or like song lyrics and put them on pattern paper, print out and use of a layout. Imagine having custom background that relates to the picture. I think it is going to be fabulous. The idea came from the class. Everyday Heidi gave us a prompt to record an obervation. Then we have entered those obervations from 3 weeks into different areas of some really cool digital paper in different fonts and such and now going to use that on a wooden frame mirrow. It is very cool and I will show the picture when I am done. I just finished the papers last night and love how it came out and that is when I thought about a couple of songs I had been listening to and a project I am working on and........Oh how I love when the mojo clicks. Yup this class was a great thing for me. Now to play catch up on the rest of it. That is the wonderful thing about an online class. It is yours forever so you can go back and revisit it when you forget or like in my case there is just not the time every night to sit down and do it so I can play catch up when I can. Love it. Going to sign up for another one to learn more about just using photo shop. Very cool indeed.
My allergies and sinus are kicking my butt from one side to the other. I know the pollen count is really high and mold. I am just trying to hang in and control it. I have finally made a decision about a hand doc and made an appointment. April 11 was the first one. I had three that seemed to be good. They came from three different reliable sources so in the end I chose based on location. Must be good cause it is 2 weeks out. I figure if I waited 5 weeks what is another 2 or so. LOL The nurse was really very nice and said she would talk to the doc and see if he could squeeze me in or if someone cancelled she would call. Now I need to go to the eye doctor as well. Wonder if I get that in next week????? HUMMMMM Might not be a bad idea at all. Especially if I have to have something done to the hand......
OK I am off to get some work done.
Have a great day one and all.
HIT IT!

My Life

2011-03-23T09:58:00.000-05:00

I am checking another off that mental list I got going. LOL The boob smasher is over for another year. When I called to make the appointment I was asked when I had the last one. I responded with this time last year since I always do it in March around my birthday so I would remember. When she brings it up it was, in fact in March, just March 2009. Opps.....not sure how that happened. Must have been having a really great time last year (yes I was!) and it just slipped right by me. So not that is done, I had in my mind to do something about my finger which is really not getting any better and then today the top of my hand really started to bother me. It is like I can't really grab things. Go figure. I probably have strained stuff favoring the finger. So now I have a couple of good recommendations. I just need to decide whom to see and make an appointment. Then it is time for the eye exam too. Oh that is an easy one. I think I should do that first. LOL OK maybe it is not all that easy in that I have another 3 months worth of contacts. HA I am sure I will be needing a new script so........Oh life you are such a challenge to me these days.
I am getting back to my groove some. I am exercising every morning, I have tracking my food with calories, fat, carb, protien and fiber. I am trying to get a better understanding of how what I eat stacks up in the healthy world of eating and to learn about the daily intake of what one is supposed to be eating. I am actually thinking at dinner time about how many calories I have left and where I am under/over in the groups and seeing what is left. I am actually starting to see where the points might fit as well. I can really see when I add a not so healthy food how it jumps certain things and how a healthier choice would make more sense. That may sound sort of confusing but I am just now starting to get a handle on the food pyramid thing. Better late than never I suppose. I am not ruling out WW as I still believe it is a great program. I am just waiting a bit until I have this down pat and then may add WW to it. I didn't want to learn a new point system at the same time and I really wanted a better understanding of the food groups before I went back to just counting points. This does force me into paying attention to where each food fits in.
Things are certainly starting to get really busy for me. April has me going out of town 2 weekends and then there is Easter in there. I am planning vacations and that is always fun. A cruise in October and I am hoping Boston with TreyBaby and Sarah in September. Those are the big ones and I do those I may have to skip CE in August but I have not made up my mind completely just yet but it is not looking like that is going to happen. I am ok with my choices and I am excited in that I am doing things I haven't done before.
Now I am off to get some work done.
Have a great day.

Monday Monday

2011-03-21T09:49:00.000-05:00

What a fabulous weekend. The weather was beautiful and having the kids together as such fun. We started off Friday night at Lopez for dinner and it was yummy. Mia brought along her imaginary friend, Hanon and her kitty. She and Trey were carring on about the Kitty and Mia would not let him pet it so being Trey in Trey fashion, he takes the Kitty (you do get that this an imaginary kitty) and throws it against the wall. Mia was horrified and shocked. I wish I had gotten the look in a picture but it was the funnies thing ever. We came back to the house after and we played and she did her dance that she is working on for the Little Miss Cowgirl contest. Proud Mary.....She was darling. Not sure why I didn't get those pictures here but hey let's just move one. So Saturday Megan and Mia came and went running around with Sarah and I. We had the best time. We actually spent 4 hours or so in The Fountains. Bed, Bath and Beyond, then OSh Gosh (side not about stupid people who can't even ring up and charge correctly and they don't even have to think. One scary thought.) Then on to Old Navy, Hobby Lobby and finally much to Mia's delight we went to feed the fish at Texas Land and Cattle. She loved it and I got a couple of pictures.

Here is a dress that Sarah bought for her and she loved it. Bless Megan's heart she wanted to wear it on Saturday and Megan stopped to get matching shoes and Mercy put in the cutest bow. She looked like a doll.

She loved feeding the fish. I loved that her Mom is so smart she carries a small bacterial thing so we could have clean hands after the fish food. LOL

Here we are at Lopez. This is before Trey threw Kitty. LOL It was really pretty funny. He then goes on to say he has his Tiger, Leonard and she couldn't pet his tiger. Her response..."Lions belong at the zoo".

She loves her Mommy and I love this picture. Finally have a mother and daughter one for her scrapbook.

She forgives TreyBaby his insane behavior and they are the best of friends once a gain. Oh and by the way, after Kitty hit the wall and survived just fine, Mia decided we also have a puppy.
She is something else and we had a wonderful time. It was a great relaxing weekend. We just went with the flow and even Trey had some R&R. Went by way to fast as usual but was just what the doctor ordered.
Now if my allergies would just settle down, if my finger would get better, if.......well can't have everything. This week is the smashing of the boobs and then I do believe I have to fit in blood work and the hand specialist. Oh life you so mess me but it is what it is and we just have to deal with it all. April is going to be a busy month. Matter of fact things are really starting to pop all around and I am loving it. Planning some vacations and fun get aways. Hopefully there is plenty more good times coming my way.

Happy Birthday To Me

2011-03-03T09:02:00.000-06:00

This is the cake that the BOSS actually brought to work for my birthday. I am so impressed that he did it himself . He even cleaned up after.

I came to work and found this on my desk from Bobby. He is the 78 year old man that I work with and is the nicest man I ever met. We are great buddies and he brings me a flower every year.

My BFF and Hubby sent this to me and they are beautiful. So made me smile and just about cry. Please note all the purple. Yup some people really do get me.

I have to confess that I left my camera at home yesterday. YIKES I am so ashamed and mad at myself. I was planning on loading some pictures Tuesday night and got hung up working on the online Photoshop class so I never did and left the camera sitting my the computer. That meant I didn't get any picutres last night at Texas Roadhouse with Allan, Megan and Mia.
Mia, of course is always cute but she was certainly on roll last night. I really saw in action her mind going and her thinking and interacting in the conversations. It was really something. I learned last night she now has a new friend. Her name is Hanno. Not Hannah and I don't even know if I came close to spelling it the way it sounds. It was way out there but she has no family, no mommy, no daddy, no sister and no home so she now lives with Mia at her house. She actually came to dinner too. Late since I didn't even know she was there until we were finished eating but just the same she came for my birthday. I just love it. She is growing by leaps and bounds and is just as sharp and quick witten. Oh the places she will go. Note to self.....so need to get and read her that book.
Today the celebrating continues and I will be having dinner with Kimmy and Carlos at Perry's. Yes, I do have my camera.

Weekend Recap

2011-02-28T18:46:00.001-06:00

The Host and The Hostess with the mostest. We had a fabulous time and everything was very yummy and elegant. We cut up and had a great time while we were being wined and dined.

The appetizers were to die for. Carlos out did himself. Guack Peruivan style.

Yummy cream cheese dip. I don't remember the name of the stuff he put on top but he brought back from Peru with him and it was out of this world. He also served an artichoke dip that was wonderful.

The salad looked so good it was a shame to destroy it to eat.

Here we have sirloin, chicken, onions (have I said I have deleloped a love of cooked onions..who knew) and tomatoes in a great sauce. Topped with french fries and rice. Rice is a staple I am learing in Peru, with every meal.

Here are a few of us and having some laughs. Oh yes you can still see the booboo on my knee from my mishap with the kitchen floor. LOL

I need to really edit the pictures and I have about 70 so they need some editing and then I will post some more. We had a marvelous time and I am going to have to do some thinking cause I do think next time it is my turn to cook and host.

TGIF

2011-02-25T11:28:00.000-06:00

So very happy to see you Friday. It has certainly been a long, busy and challenging week. I am looking forward to a fun filled weekend that will include working on my taxes (ok let's keep the goal in sight here $$$ back), dinner at BFFs with other great friends and the fella, seeing Little Miss. Next week is going to be a doozie and the only goal I have for it.....get this behind exercising in the mornings Monday-Friday. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!!!

Better late than never. Here are a few pictures from last weekend when I was in Blanco. Ok I thought I had put the pictures on here at work but apparently these are the only ones. So I will have to post others later but here are some of those I love and hold dear. We had a great time. Tom was surprised beyond any words I could think of to describe and it was great to see and spend some time with him, Tina and the rest of the gang. I especially loved getting to know Clay, Kelly and Kingsley.

This is Mads and I goofing off and having a ton of fun doing it. She asked me to pose with her like this and just cracked up when I did it. We really had a great time together and she was a hoot.

This is Granddad's hat and she put it on and we just had to take a picture. I loved how natural she was and the I think it is a great picture of her.

So TreyBaby and I had had to goof off as well. I thought I had the other pictures of us but I don't so will try to post those later. The story is that I was after him most of the weekend because his hair needs to be trimmed. He is scraggly (not sure that is a word at all) looking and he would just look at me smile that mischievous smile of his and say "Aw Bubbe". So when we took pictures I of course grabbed the hair, then once I let go he of course rubbed my face. April caught some great shots of us being silly. I really love my kids.

Oh my girls. You two are fabulous and I love you both. By the way, Madelyn took this picutre and I love that the next generation is getting into the picture taking end of our lives. And learning how to use the big SLR camera.

I love this picture. April got several and I can't thank her enough for it. Such an important and thought provoking picture for me. I look it on bad days and see how I am hiding behind the lens. You can't see so much how tired I am or bad I feel or unhappy I am. On good days I look it and it makes me happy because I am discovering how much I love photography and how cool it is to learn all that this baby can do and how it changes the way the pictures come out.....how it enables me to scrap more and yes how it brings my life into balance. BALANCE yes at the end of the day this picture says BALANCE to me and I love that.

She Lives

2011-02-16T13:38:00.000-06:00

Just popping in to say hello and yes I am alive. I am hanging in there and just trying to takes things one day at a time. Not sure I posted about falling flat on my face a week ago this past Saturday. Didn't break anything but managed to bang myself up enough that left me bruised and hurting. Oh joy.....Still haven't got to the gym. Had to exercise with banged up ribs. UGH. This week I am back to feeling really tired. I think the lack of exercise is starting to get to me. I am just working on focusing on what I have to do. I am remembering more to look at the old TO DO list so I am getting to what needs doing. Oh life I am so ready for you to give me a break:)
This weekend I am headed to Blanco to for Tom's surprise party. It will be nice to see Tom and Tina and my kiddos. Been a while since I have seen TreyBaby since he didn't come with the girls this last time. HUMMMM wonder when he is coming. My scrap closets need some TreyBaby time. LOL I have some minor tweaks on the closet he did for me and I would love to do the other closet too. Just a thought my darling.......(FYI---he used to read my blog all the time). He is just the best ever!
OK back to work. Seems I have been promoted to office manager. Title only and oh lots more crap to go with the title but no more money. UGH Keep the title, give me the money and I am happy. Good thing that for the most part I really like my job but at the end of the day, it is one of the best around and I try to remember that.
Have a great week one and all and I hope to be back with some weekend pics.

Feeling Human

2011-02-05T07:35:00.000-06:00

Yes I do believe I am going to live after all. What a week it has been. I suppose since the weather so bad if I had to be sick the timing was good. In between sleeping, which I did a lot of, I actually did scrap. I have to say the mojo is back and I am thrilled to have it. In no real order here are some things I accomplished.

This is my actual gift for Tom's 70th birthday. Tom is TreyBaby's Dad and a great guy that is going to be 70 years old. I am very happy with the way it came out. This is the first frame like this I have done. I have actually done several different types now and I have to say I am loving them.

Sarah, April and I are doing a scrapbook for him. The girls were here last weekend and we knocked out a ton or work. A couple of these were done then. This is the opening page of his book. I will say all the following pages are the ones I did since I like to take pictures of my work that I don't keep for reference later down the road. (Note to self....you ought to look through some of that for inspiration the next time the mojo is on vacation)

This page is one of my favorites because it is just really creative and came together in a snap. You know how sometimes you just look at a picture and the light bulb goes off. Well this was one of them. I knew I wanted to frame his face since he was a bit lost in the picture and that I wanted to use tree limbs since he was up in the tree. It really came out darling. I had some wood paper that I used. I took a limb and just broke it up in pieces and glued it to the frame and then used distress stickles. I took some leaf ribbon and wrapped another limb for the border. The tools are buttons that once again I had. Tore the grass paper for the bottom and for balance had one piece of limb so just stuck that on there. Really cute.

This is one I really like too and I just love using stuff I have and it has helped me to do some sorting and purging along the way. Oh chipboard I forgot how much I love you. I am also reminded how much I love my Microsoft Digital Pro for adding text and converting photos. (Side note here I have signed up Heidi Swapp and Jessica Sprague's class on Photoshop)

This Tom and I at Sarah and Trey's wedding. This one took me almost all day because I didn't have a clue where I wanted to go with it but I am very happy with the way it came out. I really enjoyed the process and it was great therapy for me in just playing.

Oh the weather. All the hipe and the snow is coming. Thursday night I was talking to the fella about 1-3 inches and that I hoped I could get out long enough to take some pictures. He told me not to worry cause it was not going to snow. WHAT? Are you nuts? They have been talking about it nonstop for days.....He said nope the dew points are not right and it is not going to snow. OK I figured we would wait and see.....Sure enough no snow. Yes the streets were really bad cause there was ice everywhere. Freeways were closed. The beltway was completely shut down. City offices were closed. I am not even sure if I got mail since I didn't go check. I seem to have lost time of days. LOL Anyway wouldn't you think if a science teacher could tell it was not going to snow the weather people with all their fancy equipment would be able to tell as well. SIGH go figure. This is what my bush looked like though and will make a great picture in my Project Life for the week.

Now that I am feeling human again I am headed to shower and actually get dressed. I do believe I am getting out in the real world some today. Watch out grocery store I am a coming....LOL

You Might Just Start a Chain Reaction

2011-02-04T20:58:00.000-06:00

The post below was copied from my niece, Dani's (aka baby B) blog. It confirms that there are great kids out there that are going to become great adults and will do such great and good things along the way.
Enjoy.

Friday, January 28, 2011
You Might Just Start a Chain Reaction

On April 20, 1999 Columbine High School in Colorado, experienced the worst school shooting in our country's history. Two boys put bombs in the cafeteria hoping they would go off during lunch, and as students walked out the boys were prepared with shot guns and other weapons to shoot students. When the bombs didn't go off the boys went into the school and began shooting. There were 13 people murdered including one teacher. The first girl shot was Rachel Joy Scott. Many of the students were in the library with one teacher trying to hide from the shooters. They started hearing gun shots and within minutes the shooters were in the library. Rachel's brother was in the library with two of his friends. His two friends were shot while he was sitting in the middle of them. One of his friends was African American and the last thing he heard while he was alive were racial slurs. His response, "I want to see my mom," and was then shot. Rachel Scott was sitting outside by a tree eating lunch with a friend when she was shot. Throughout her life, Rachel kept countless journals. She always wrote that all people had to give was compassion and kindness. With that you can start a chain reaction. She said that she was going to die young and wanted to make an impact on the world and that is what has happened since her death. The shooters in some ways had a relation to Adolf Hitler, who was their role model. Hitler killed millions of Jews for no reason the same way these two boys shot innocent students. In many ways Anne Frank and Rachel Scott are very similar. Anne Frank wanted to be a famous writer and inspire other people. Rachel was inspired by Anne Frank. They both died for unnecessary reasons at a young age. Rachel's Challenge has 5 steps. Step 1: Get rid of prejudice by looking for the best in others, in reality without prejudice there wouldn't be bullying. Step 2: Chose positive influences and role models in your life. Step 3: Keep a daily journal or diary for a month, it will change your life. Step 4: Look for little things that make a difference. Sometimes the smallest thing in life can have the biggest reward on someone else. Step 5: Tell the people you love how much you care about them, you NEVER know what could happen. It is all about people treating others with respect and being positive to all kinds of people. Rachel was the girl that sat with the new person on campus, stood up for bullies, and defended people with special needs who didn't have a voice of their own. When Rachel saw a boy getting bullied because he had a disability, she stepped in-between the bully and the boy and told the bully that he would have to fight her too. The bully stepped aside. Little did Rachel know but the boy that was getting picked on had decided to commit suicide because he was tired of being bullied. Her small act of kindness kept someone from taking his life. Weeks before Rachel's death she wrote an essay about kindness and compassion. One day her teacher saw her drawing; it was a picture of eyes with tears, 13 tears, that when they hit the ground it grew into a flower. A business man called Mr. Scott, Rachel's dad, a few weeks after her death and said he had a dream of a picture. It happened to be the same picture Rachel had drawn in her journal. No one knew that until Rachel's dad picked up her backpack at at the town sheriff's office. Her dad opened her backpack, took out her journal and flipped to the last page. On the last page, starring at her Dad was the exact picture the business man had described. Normally, school presentations are all about how to better yourself. Rachel's Challenge did more than just that. The entire time I was at the presentation I wanted to immediately make a difference. After seeing this speaker I want to be the girl to go sit with the new student, stand up for the disabled student and support kids getting bullied. While her parents were cleaning her room, they found a hand traced on her dresser and inside was written, "these hands belong to Rachel Joy Scott and will someday touch millions of people's hearts."

"I have this theory that if one person will go out of their way to show compassion, it will start a chain reaction." -Rachel Scott.

Her challenge has inspired people nation wide. From celebrities to students, people have changed their daily lives to adapt to her challenge. I could write on and on about Rachel's Challenge but instead I just want to now challenge you to accept what I have told you about Rachel and take the challenge.

Rachel's challenge tied into something personal to our school. The Peer Helpers and Peer Mediators have been working on an anti-bullying campaign, "It Starts With Me." In each fourth period class today there was a bullying discussion led by Peer Helpers, Peer Mediators or Student Council class representatives. We discussed types of bullying, how to prevent it, individual stories, and how one person can start a chain reaction; the motto of Rachel's Challenge.

You might just start a chain reaction.

Weekend Recap

2011-01-30T18:36:00.000-06:00

What a really great weekend this turned out to be. Started off Friday evening when Kim and I took a scrap class with Laura. We loved the class and seeing her after such a long time. It is a year in review that is just darling and I now realize I didn't take a picture of the completed album. Will do that later. It was fun to get back to some me social scrapping and I hope to keep at it.

Then Sarah and April came in Friday night for the weekend. We had plans of working on a scrapbook for Tom (Trey and April's Dad) 70th birthday. There is a surprise birthday party in Feb for him. We made great strides. We were up to 1:30 in the morning and I think we did about 20 pages between us. We didn't even start until about 6ish.

I had a haircut appoint and they had a baby shower during the afternoon so that is why the late start. To back up to Saturday morning, we got up early and went to the gym first. That was really great and I plan on keeping up with that. Then we came home, loaded pictures and then while they showered and dressed I loaded to SAM's. We then went off to a yummy lunch at Lopez and then they went off to the shower while I went to SAM's and picked up a few things and the pictures. I then went to Hobby Lobby for a few things for the album now that I had seen the pictures and then went to Gity's (haircut below).

Sunday when Sarah and I ran to the store we stumbled across an aisle with some great Valentine things. One was this great set of mixing bowls for 9.99. Red is perfect for my kitchen, I needed new bowls and got a bargin. I am thrilled.

We came home and fixed a great breakfast...Turkey sausage, turkey bacon, fiber one blueberry pancakes, bisquits and gravy. Sounds bad but it was all lowfat and was brunch. Dinner Sat. night was chili dogs (fat free Hebrew National dogs, turkey chili, FF cheese, yummy and sweet potatoe french fries)

For whatever reason not all the pictures I selected got posted so they will have to wait for another time. It was a great weekend and I loved having my girls. They are fabulous in helping me every step of the way and I can't thank them enough for just being my girls. I love you Sarah and April and feel more like my old self than I have in a very long time.

Project Life

2011-01-28T10:37:00.000-06:00

I have decided to embark on Becky Higgins Project Life. This is my journal for the 4th week and realized it is a good idea to post here. CAUTION: Long Post

I have been officially diagnosed with ULCERTIVE COLITIS. The short easy definition is that my colon is full of ulcers and is very inflamed. It has caused joints to be inflamed and specifically my thumbs and ankles. This poses a problem for me in grabbing and holding things. It makes walking a tad scary as when it hits my ankle I lose my footing some. It has caused ulcers in my mouth that come and go. Uncomfortable at times but gargle with salt water helps keep under control and short lived. My back started hurting on January 1 and has not stopped. Some days are better than others but my heating pad and I are married and all talks of separation have ceased. At its worst when the back hurts, my legs really ache. I find I can’t stand for long periods of time (long being anything past 20-30 minutes) which really ticks me off when I am trying to cook for the week. But I am learning to sit and do things and take breaks in between the standing. Takes me longer but again I am dealing with it and working through it. My thumbs ache and there are times when I have issues in grabbing things, holding on to things and lately even writing. I don’t know that my eyes have been affected, however, they are very dry and irritated at the end of the day. I am due for an eye exam in March and am just trying to wait until then. Some of the other issues are that I am at a much higher risk now for colon cancer, kidney and liver issues and Osteoporoses. I will have to monitor my liver and kidney, which is no big deal since I do that every 3 months anyway and just had a bone density test. I have regular colonoscopy since Mother had colon cancer. It is through the colonoscopy that this was discovered.

The first step is to take an anti inflammatory which I do in the mornings. Four horse pills every morning and at this writing it has been a week. I am hopeful that it is working since some of the obvious issues seem to be improving. They will check my blood in a month and we will see then. I have no idea how long I will be taking these but for now it is one day at a time. The doctor is very hopeful that is going to work. I find the pills (or maybe just life but I really think it is the pills) make me very irritated, nasty and weepy. I realize that I am overreacting to things and am trying to deal with that too.

I am trying to get back to some sense of normal with my cooking, eating and exercise. I have put on 7 pounds since the holidays and really want to get back to weight loss. I think I am going to rejoin Weight Watchers but have put it off thinking I need to get my medical issues under control. I actually want to see a nutritionist first and before I did that I wanted to find out was wrong. Now that I have found out I can move forward on to the next step. I have returned to the healthy way of eating that I know works for me. I am surprised in that when I may slip off the “norm” there can be 2-3 pound difference in one day. I know I need to drink more water and need to make a conscious effort to do so.

Life is certainly a challenge these days and I have to admit I have been feeling pretty sorry for myself. I think it is time to pull myself up, dust me off and live each day to the fullest. One of the things I am doing is Project Life. I was inspired several years ago by the concept of simple scrapping and documenting day by day. I bought the kit and never did it. No surprise there but recently it has grabbed me again and inspired me to do something with it. I think it is a good way for me to cope with what is going on and even document it, all the good and bad. I think it may one day be useful for future generations to know what I have and how it was dealt with both physically and mentally. More important I know it is good for me. I love going back and seeing where I was, the memories of yesterday and how those I love have changed…how life has changed and yet how it has stayed the same. Something scrapping does and something I know so many appreciate. So one of my goals is to actually finish Project Life for this year. The concept is a picture a day and while that is great I am not going there. I know there are weeks when I take a lot of pictures and then there are weeks when I take none. I am planning on a week to week and trying for some day to day life, my trials and my happy times. We will see where it takes me. It feels really good to be focused on some scrap projects that are for me, about me and I believe will really help me. I probably could have combined this with my word for the year (balance) but the inspiration hit at different times so……IT IS WHAT IT IS.

This journaling is actually going in my 4th week and as I read it over I thought it would be a great post. I know there are many that read my blog (which to this day still surprises and amazes me) and this way I can let you all know what is going on and to say if somehow you have been on my not so nice receiving end, I am sorry. I don’t like being an ugly mean person and hope to find the real Carol soon.

XOX

Happy 83 Birthday Mom

2011-01-28T08:00:00.000-06:00

Today is your 83rd birthday. I miss you more than I did before and wish you were around to talk to. I know you have been around. I know you have prodded and pushed and because of that I didn't put things off. I know the reasons you were in my dreams and I am really trying. I know you know that too. Yes I know I need an attitude adjustment. Yes I know I expect too much of others. Most important yes I know I will be fine and yes I know I can depend on me.

I love you and miss you. Give Daddy and Ronnie a hug for me:)

Good Old Hump Day

2011-01-26T11:00:00.000-06:00

I am trying to come to terms with everything that is going on and deal with it. Somethings are easier than others but I am aiming for the balance (oh that lovely word again). Balance really picked me this year instead me picking a word and when it first hit, I have to admit it was not what I thought it was going to be at all. But there is a reason for everything. I have started my medication (and I think I already posted about that), today I took the bone density test and finally talked to the doctor about the blood work he took last week. OK when I went to talk to him he told me to call this week for the results but he led me to think I would talk to the PA and not him. He just wanted confirmation (so it was my understanding) that I did not have Crohns. Although he said I didn't he wanted to be 100%. So imagine my surprise when I called and once had again had to wait cause he wanted to talk to me. That is never a good thing. We played phone tag until this morning (which lead to a restless sleep) and guess what he said. I don't have Crohns. SERIOUSLY Don't ya think anyone could have told me that yesterday. UGH....I didn't say anything but sure thought about. I am trying to keep in check cause I have to say I am really feeling pretty bitchy these days. I figure I can feel sorry for myself for a couple more days and then maybe it is time to pull me up and put on my big girl panties. It would be so much easier if I wasn't so tired and if my back would stop hurting and if my tummy would stop hurting.....lol I actually think things are a tad better since my thumbs don't hurt as much and the left ankle is actually lots better. Funny how my list of things I have to take care of the first of year, turn out to be all related to one thing. That is at least a good thing. Now I will take this medicine for a month and then have to check the blood to see if it is working. All good thoughts and prayers my way are very appreciated.
Still working in the scrap room and making some progress. I will be starting on a new project now. I want to do a frame for 'Trey's Dad for his 70th birthday. I think I am going to do a long rectangle one. April is going to bring me some pictures this weekend and I am really excited about it. I have been pulling some cowboy(ish) paper and things together. It is inspiring me and getting me to go through, purge and put away stuff. Little steps but progress. I know there is so much yet to do but I am just taking it one step at a time. Hey at least I am actually finding stuff again.
That is about all I know for now. I may take a blog break for a bit. I feel like if i can't be positive I should not be blogging here. So I am thinking of taking up hand writing again. LOL
Love you all,
XOX

Monday Monday

2011-01-24T12:38:00.000-06:00

Oh Monday I am not liking you lately at all. Went to the dentist this morning and it appears a very old crown has to be replaced....hello 695.00 and bye bye......at least nothing else was wrong. Dr. K is a delight and took one look at me and said you know we could do this the next time you come in for your cleaning. He could tell I was just not up to doing this now. It really isn't even the money (I am not happy with that) right now as I just can't deal with it. I am trying really hard to maintain a positive attitude and I really do know things will get better but I just don't feel good. I took Tyneol PM last night (Note to self...One is enough don't be stupid and do 2 or you will feel drugged and light headed for at least the morning after) (since I am still feeling that way I don't know how long it will last) and was in bed at 8. My back and my legs hurt so bad I just couldn't stand it. I did stick a pillow under my legs and have to say I think that really helped. I also think/hope the meds are kicking in as well. They are not supposed to have any side effects, but I have to say after I take them I feel very weepy and very bitchy....Now isn't that a great combination. Oh well it is what it is.
Yesterday I did some cooking. I actually went through a few recipes in my I want to try folder and fixed some. I did a chicken dish from Sarah where I season my chicken and browned it in the skillet and then added some Italain fire canned tomatoes and artichokes. I left the cheese out cause I have not been able to tolerate milk products since getting my gallbladder out. Came out pretty tasty. Then I threw together some lamb chops that I marinade first and they came out delish. Glazed pork chops with pineapple salsa that I really liked but I think next time the chops need more seasoning. I do like the salsa as a side but neither was just wonderful. I steamed some cauliflower, roasted eggplant, boiled butternut squash raviolli and chopped and chopped veggies for salad. Oh and I took some of the peppers (green, red, yellow and orange) and cut in chunks and threw in the skillet while I was cooking the lamb chops just until cooked but still crunchy. They were fabulous and I will be doing that one again. I have a couple of other things to make but I just ran out of steam and couldn't stand anymore. I am going to make the Hungry Girl Chicken Crock Pot soup with Chicken, tomatoes and I don't remember what else cause I have not made it. I saw it on her cooking show and looked good and it was in my cookbook so I am going to do that tonight. I figure I will get the stuff together and either cook it tonight or in the morning. Not sure yet. Tomorrow I hope to go to Zumba at the gym. It is a wait and see how I feel sort of thing. I had hoped I would exercise this morning but just couldn't and I have decided not to push myself just yet. One day at a time.

Tired Tired Tired

2011-01-20T08:16:00.000-06:00

That is the best I can come up with right now. I am tired of not feeling good. I am tired of something hurting. I am tired of doing what I think is right and turns out to be all wrong. I am just flat out tired. Balance oh balance where are you? I am really trying and it just gets harder and harder. I am such a whinny baby.
Had the colonoscopy and since they no longer (at least my doc) use the pills I had to drink this awful crap that naste like black licorce (yes I can't spell either) and I hated that. It was all I could do to keep from throwing up. OK so I made it through got there at 5:55 a.m. and got to wait until 7:20 until it was my turn. Turns out I have what appears to be Ulcerative Colitis. The doc took biopsy and blood work and I was told to call on Wed for results. I called yesterday and was told to leave a "good" number for him to call back. I gave my office number and at 4:30 when I had not heard anything I called again and gave my cell number. Still I have heard nothing. Ok so really.....don't tell me to call if I am not going to get the results. Tell me the doc will call when he has the results. That just makes sense. But no I get to sit around and wait all day and then nothing. Top that off with my back still hurts and now my tummy is not happy either. I am just plain tired.
On a good note I am still making small progress on the purging, sorting and organizing. I am working on my work table and while I am not done yet there is hope in sight.
Another really good note is that I have booked a cruise with some really fun great people and my baby is going with me. October 23-30 to Key West, Nassau and Freeport and it is going to be a blast. I can't wait and have some real fun to look forward to. By Design is bringing Tim Holtz to town for classes and I am on the list. Tracy is going to be doing a 3 day retreat with the classes incorporated. I am thinking I will opt for this over CE because I just don't think I can do it all and this is so much closer to home. I have heard the retreats she does are really great and I have always wanted to do one. It is Nov 3-5 so that means right after the cruise but what the heck.....It is a good time of year for me and doesn't involve a payday.
OK I am off to work now and have a left a nice but unhappy firm message with the doctor's office so let's see when I hear something. In the meantime, anyone know of a good dietician?

TreyBaby

2011-01-13T10:24:00.000-06:00

TreyBaby is the best and he gets it. You may have heard the story but it just has to be said again. I met Trey one evening when he drove Sarah home from Austin where she was attending college. They had started dating and Sarah wanted him to meet me. He understood from the very beginning the bond that Sarah and I had. He not only knew it, he understood it, he got it and he embraced it without any hesitation at all. It was obvious from that first meeting how he felt about my daughter and how much he cherised her. What I didn't know what just how much he would love me and understand me. He just gets it and when you say something to him, he doesn't quite understand why anyone should think any different. He just thinks Sarah and I should be as close as we are. He just thinks Sarah and I should spend time together, just the two of us. He just thinks Sarah and I should talk as often as we want and can. He just thinks all of that is a given and he never thought twice about it. That is TreyBaby. He is an amazing husband and friend to my baby and I would love him for that alone but he gives me reasons all the time to love him even more.

So fast forward to this week and an email I sent Sarah.......What are the odds you can go with me on a cruise in October with Aaron and some other folks. Gonna be a blast. It has been a couple of years since Sarah and I took a trip, the two of us and she loved the idea. "Let me talk to Trey". Trey's response.....sounds great you should really do it. Sarah being concerned about the money (even though this is really a great price). Trey's told her ....you and your mom should go and have a good time. You never know what will happen or when you may have the opportunity again. Now that may not be the exact words but you get what he said. He gets it and not that he would ever have told her not to go but he supports and encourages her to do things. TreyBaby is the best and I love him!
Now Sarah and I will be going on a 7 day cruise out of Galvestion October 23-30 to Nassau, Bahamas and Caymen Island with Aaron and a group of fun loving crazy folks. So excited.....Aaron has named this No Hope For The Pope Cruise. Bring it on!!!!

Progress

2011-01-10T14:50:00.000-06:00

I was lucky enough to get to hang out with this cutie on Saturday. Megan, Mia and I went to Sherry's baby shower and we had lunch first. I can't tell you how grown-up and well behaved this 4 year old was. It was good for my soul to be able to hang out with her some. Now I ask is this Sassy or what?

I met them at Babies R Us and she was being very good in the basket and I snuck up and surprised her. The smile on her face and the light her eyes was just what I needed to cure any blue I may have. She is always so happy to see me as I am to see her.

She thought she was pretty special when Ms. Sherry gave her this ribbon and how creative to make it into a necklace.

We had a really great time and we made a date for next weekend. At 2:30 a.m. when I woke up and couldn't sleep I thought about making a date with Mia to come and spend the night and thought about how many sleeps it was going to be and this light went off in my head. She need her own picture calendar and we could use some bling (yeah I think I have some I could spare) to mark the date and we could mark everyone's birthday and why didn't I think of it before.....She would love her own scrapped calendar. She loves her birthday album every year and loves looking at. We learned this year that it has to be the last gift opened because everything comes to a halt while she looks through it. I didn't have time to do a real one but I had a Princess calendar that I bought at Michaels where you just add the picture so that is what I did and it was ready for her when we met. She loved it and the idea. She was so very excited about. She just gets it and I just love that.

I had dinner with Kimmy on Friday night and we got to catch up some. We had not had a chance to catch up in some time and it was nice. I then finished up some last minute touches on Baby A and Baby B calendars. I won't post pictures right now cause they may not be a surprise to them (I do this every year for them) what I did is and I really don't want to post any pics until they get to see them first.

So back to Saturday the fella came over after I got home and went with me to SAM's. I had list for the office and it was supposed to rain on Sunday and honestly with my back bothering me I didn't want to lift the heavy stuff. LOL He was very happy to help me out. Came home and then we went to Fuddrucker's for a quick bite. He brought over the first two Chronicles of Narnia. So we watched the first one on Saturday night. I loved it. Sunday he chopped and I cooked, we watched the other movie (which was really good too) and I finished cooking. He left about 4 which left me time to get some stuff accomplished. I sorted the rest of the pictures that I had stacked on my table and filed them away by years and took the ones I plan to scrap and put in my albums also by years. I added pictures to another frame in the entryway and even managed to sort out 4 pots of buttons into like colors. Mia used to love to play with them and I gave sorting them by color a long time ago but it is now time to get back to same color. At least now if she mixes she can sort them back. LOL. She really doesn't even play with them anymore. I hope to continue on the button path tonight while watching the bachelor. Yes I got sucked in on another season. I also should do a load or two of wash. But all in all it was a productive balanced weekend. Now I did forget about working on my assignment for that but it is still January so I will get to it. I pretty much did the assignment before it was even given so I am ok with what I did even if I don't add the little things Ali gave us to do. I jumped ahead when I got my album ready so I pretty much did what she assigned just in a different format. All is good.

The back it still achy but better. I actually exercised this morning. Not nearly the "normal" effort but it was an attempt on getting my morning routine back in balance. I was in negotiations for a separation with my heating pad but we could not come to terms so for now It is still coming to work with me. We have agreed to take it one day at a time and see where it goes. I am ok in that it is not getting worse. I think I have just about broken down and am considering getting a massage. There is a knot around the neck/shoulder area and when the fella was massaging it man it hurt. Yes, I am thinking seriously of trying it.

I have just made up my mind that January this year is going to be challenging and now that I am approaching it that way, I am much happier.

Have a good one. I am now off to get some work done.

Caution: Not Happy

2011-01-07T08:43:00.000-06:00

OK you have been warned. I have avoided posting because I am just not happy right now. I don't feel great and I am not my happy go lucky self. The fella asked me a few days ago "where is Carol"? HUMMMMM at the time I thought I knew but right now I just don't. I do know my back hurts. I do know I am not happy with the 7 pounds I put on. I do know I want to be exercising and can't. I do know the weasel in the back at work has gotten on the last nerve I have and I just want to smack him one. I do know this new generation that can't get to work on time is driving me nuts. I do feel really sad that Martha is really going to die in a matter of months.   I do now things in my life are all out of whack. It is just a period of no matter what I do or what happens, I AM JUST NOT HAPPY. So rather than fight it, I am just going to go with it and see what I can do about it.
I suppose I need to start off small and pay more attention to the things that are good and are going right in my life. So.....doctor says the stool sample is negative so that means I have no parasites which let's be honest makes me happy. Doesn't explain the tummy issues but hey it is a start. I am not looking forward to the prep for the colonoscopy that I am having but then who does. It certainly has been made worse since I can no longer use the pills but ok the good thing is I know I will lose 2-3 pounds and who knows maybe I can actually keep it off and will be exercising by then.
I finished up two 2011 calendars for Baby A & Baby B who will be turning 17 (YIKES) on the 19th. I am reminded of how much scrapping means to me and how wonderful I feel. (Note to self....might just be you need to be scrapping more stupid) On that note I think I am going to try to get back to scrapping on Friday nights. Now I know I can't commit to every Friday but I am thinking of seeing if maybe some of the scrapping gals might just be interested in a once a month crop. I miss my friends, I miss my scrapping. I have started making up my own kits.  In my thoughts for trying for more balance in life, I recalled how much I liked the monthly kits I used to get. What I liked about them was that I could just grab them and go and most everything was there and it was actually very challenging to use what was in the kit. So on that note, as I have come across some papers that I really liked, I have stopped slipped into a page protector and added stuff to match it. I don't give it a lot of thought. I have grabbed some emblishments, ribbons, chipboard, letters, buttons just whatever I may see and can coordinate in about 10-15 minutes. I then plan on putting them in crate I have and will use that when I find I have time to scrap. I realized that I am not scrapping cause when I have 30 or so minutes I spend it all looking for stuff, getting frustrated and so I just don't scrap. I also have found that when I am scrapping it is just very very good for me. So I am thinking this is a good way to get back to it. In addition it is time to go through my pictures and get the ones I want scrapped in the albums. I keep the 2 up photo albums for just this purpose. I slide them in and with post notes can make notes and dates and then when I ready to scrap I can just grab the album and not spend the time looking for it. It worked really well and I hate I let system go. So that is my goal this weekend. I have Thanksgiving and Mia's birthday and Chanukah to put in the book and the rest need to go in the photo boxes. It is all a start.
Next up is to get back to some cooking and meal planning.  I have a folder full of recipes to try that are easy and WW friendly. I am thinking what I need is sign up for WW and actually get back to the meetings. That might get me on track as well as put some balance back on that score. I am thinking a three month commitment here. Got to make up my mind on that one.
OK now I am off to get work done. The piles are all over the place. Doesn't help that this is the busiest time of year for me too. UGH
Carol might be hiding but she is working on coming back so don't give her up just yet.
XOX

Yikes

2011-01-04T08:22:00.000-06:00

WOW I am so starting off no different than what I ended 2010 with. LOL The back is better but I am not there yet. Have heating pad will travel and the good thing is that I haven't had to stay home on the couch. Got home last night cooked up some ground turkey I had taken out on Sunday (yeah for me for making myself do that) then ate some Edamama beans and fiber crackers. Sat on the heating pad and watched the Bachelor and Biggest Loser Special. I really should have spend that hour in the chair in my studio and I would have finished up one calendar but just didn't make it. It is what it is and maybe tonight. Just have to see what the day will begin. Supposed to be date night tonight but again I am not sure how I am going to feel. Tonight is also the Biggest Loser kick off and I must remember to DVR that one. I just don't seem to be able to stay awake long enough to see the end these days. LOL
Off to work now way to much to do. I did buy my lottery tickets and how cool would it be if this time tomorrow I was a multi millionaire? LOL OK it is my fantasy and I can make it as big as I want.

1=2=11

2011-01-02T08:34:00.000-06:00

Well this year has started off with a big bang nothing......I have gone from being sick with the crud to my back going out. What the hey????? Seems ever since I went to the doctor on Thursday to get the ball rolling on routine tests that need to be done things have gone downhill pretty quickly. OK I know things have been going on that might require some attention but hey does everything have to start all at once. LOL I refuse to let it get to me or anything else for that matter so there.
Now I will spend the day on my heating pad, with a few trips to the kitchen to do some cooking because come hell or high water good balance eating starts tomorrow. Seems the exercise that I was counting on for tomorrow may have to wait but the eating can begin.
I have my OLW album ready to go and on that note here is the pictures from 1=1=11. Part of balance in my life is to get back to good healthy eating and exercise so in keeping with that I plan on taking measurements, weight and two pictures on the first of every month . I am using a nine pocket page protector in my OLW album. This has three pockets across so the first is the date and stats and then the two pictures. Each month on the first I will take two new pictures and the stats for that day. Will be interesting to see. I got the idea from Cathy Z blog. She did that last year and while I can see the difference in my pictures from last year nothing like the same picutre every month shows. The side view sure leaves a lot to be desired but this is me being brave. LOL

Now I will spend the day on my heating pad, with a few trips to the kitchen to do some cooking because come hell or high water good balance eating starts tomorrow. Seems the exercise that I was counting on for tomorrow may have to wait but the eating can begin. I have my OLW album ready to go. Just watched the video last night. Funny how one of the things Ali said to do was to print out the defination which I already did. HA. Was going to take a picture of me today but I think my back has other plans so I will wait and hopefully get to it tomorrow since I will have to look somewhat decent for work.

Now back to calendars.

1-1-11

2011-01-01T17:43:00.000-06:00

I just couldn't let the day go by without some sort of posting. 1-1-11 now how cool is that. I love the play of numbers...duh bookkeeper here but there is just something really cool about the same number. Next will be 1-11-11 and then how about 11-11-11 now that is going to be something.
I welcomed the New Year feeling pretty lousy. I have picked up the crud I suppose and between that and just stupid stuff it was a yucky few days. Truth be told I was in bed at midnight dozing, although I did manage to wake up several minutes before midnight to welcome in the New Year. Here is what I did realize while I was feeling terrible and struggling to stay awake.....Dick Clark 's New Year show is TERRIBLE and I don't know who listens to the performers but they were awful. Talking to the crowds was stupid and I just didn't think I could even make it to see the ball drop, which by the way I didn't. Seems I dozed through that one. I have managed to work on calendars for the girls but Ihave not made near the progress I had hoped for.
Today I decided I had to get a grip and so I stuck me under a hot shower and headed to the grocery store and then came home and took a nap. Now that is something I never do. I am now going to submerge myself in the TO DO List and see if that helps snap me back to me.
Happy New Year One and All and it is my hope that is a good one for you all.

BALANCE

2010-12-29T20:20:00.000-06:00

My One Little Word for 2011 is BALANCE.

It seems as amazing as 2010 has been (and it was) it has also brought about lack of balance in my life. I seem to have lost that easy going time I used to have. It seems I am always in a rush of some sort trying to find the time to get something done. I seem to be out of control in my life being organized like it used to be. I knew it was a problem when I didn't want to scrap because I knew it would just take to long to find anything I wanted. The other day when I knew I wanted some particular paper that I recall having and knew I had no idea where to even begin to look, I knew I BALANCE was what I was lacking in my life. I know how to go about getting back on track but staying there is a different story. So I decided to enroll in Ali Edwards' One Little Word class at Big Picture Scrapbooking to help me remember my word, live my word and hopefully incorporate my word in my day to day life.

I seem to be ending 2010 on a somewhat sad note. I am just a bit blue for many reasons and none of which I really need or want to go into at this time. I think putting more balance in my life will make things right again. I realize life can't be perfectly bliss and happiness all the time so I view this as the time for me to reflect. To think of what is good and what works in my life What it takes to make it work again and what changes I need to get life back to where I want it to be.

Tonight I had dinner with a friend. It was good to catch up and visit and I am reminded again of how funny people come around just when you need them. I have missed the freshness of friends with ideas, the smiles, the laughter, the concern and the sharing. It was something I really needed after a really bad day so thanks Mechiel, your timing was everything. BALANCE it is something I need, want and intend to gain!!!!

OK 2011 bring it on. I am going to rock you!

2010

2010-12-16T09:55:00.000-06:00

Just a few highlights from the year. I don't keep a ton of pictures here so this is the best for now. 2010 has been a wonderful year and some amazing things have happened. My word for 2010 was/is evolve and it was a most fitting word. It has been a year of discovery for me and stepping out of my box in many ways.

While it has been a really great year, it also had it's challenges. It was a year full of happy family memories and some great times. If I learned nothing else in almost 56 years of living, it is to appreciate each and every day and live it to the fullest. Laughter is a big part of my life and that of my family and sees us through. It just gives you such a great outlook on life.
Here is to 2011 and all that it offers.

Better Late Than Never

2010-12-09T08:09:00.000-06:00

Many of you have seen these pictures on Facebook so it may be a repeat but what the heck. Megan brought this great beautiful cookie cake. I forgot to ask but I am pretty sure it was made by Mercy. It just tasted to good not to have been.

Here is what we do best on Chanukah. Making Latkes and I have to say just as yummy as always. Actually made less of a mess this year and that is probably cause I borrowed a pan from Megan so I had two good size ones going. Now as my daughter pointed out, I really need a bigger steamer. I have a small really cheap one I bought at Walmart years agowhen I first learned about steaming (note to self you should really take a pic of that steamer) veggies. It just never occured to me to look for a bigger one. DUH! It is sort of like the pan I borrowed from Megan...I really never use two at the same time except for this so I never think to just buy another one. Well maybe if Sarah would just have a Pampered Chef party I would buy one. LOL

Sarah had the programs and it was a really great way for everyone to participate and it was beautiful.

Yes we had three Menorahs. I like to have enough for all the kids to be able to light candles if they want to.

TreyBaby what a guy. You can so see what we and this holiday is all about for us. Family, laughter, fun and love!

A great time was had by all and once again it was all to short and poof it was over. Until next year.

Speaking of next year, it will be here soon. I have been thinking of the goals I had for 2010 and the goals I want to set for 2011. Post to follow and I am planning on pulling those thoughts together over Xmas when I have time to reflect and plan.

Little Miss Birthday

2010-12-06T13:45:00.000-06:00

Here we are Birthday number 4. Little Miss is certainly something else. It is hard to believe four years have passed and yet I can't imagine life without her. She brings som much joy, laughter and love to all those around. Her Grandma (not me for sure) made the cake. Mercy is fabulous and the the party theme of mexican food was the best. The kids played games and had a great time. Mia received so many great gifts and clothes. She is certainly loved and cherished by many.

Here she doing Karate with Aunt Sarah. Nobody knows for sure where she learned the moves butr she does move and cracks us all up. HiYa....

She is becoming quite the photographer. I am not sure when I let her step up to the big camera but as you can see she certainly knows what to do with it. I don't really hold it up for her anymore. She is actually taking some pretty good pictures. Her Aunt Leenie and the gang gave her a digital kid camera that you actually can download the pictures on to your computer. Might be to kiddy for this pro but we will see.

I really love that Mia loves to look through scrapbook. Probably should not have been one of the first gifts she opened since it brought the opening process to a halt. LOL I hope she always love to look through her scrapbooks and know her Bubbe loved her to the moon and back again with each and every page I did.

The haul and believe me it was a ton of great stuff. Such a cutie.

After a fun party we headed home and fun continued on for our Chanukah party.

Thankful

2010-11-29T15:18:00.000-06:00

I have been bad about my November posting this year. Life is just way to busy but I am very thankful each and everyday for all that I have and all that I am.

Thanksgiving was amazing. I think this was the best yet. The food was awesome and we had so many new things, both food and people. I love the adding new traditions to past ones. It was a wonderful time with friends and family. Here are a few pictures since Thanksgiving is when we do pictures.

THE COUSINS

This is one of my favorite pictures. You can see the pure joy and fun they were having. I love that they love being together and are willing to take the time to take pictures. Next year these two precious girls will be seniors and will be thinking about collage. How did that happen?

SISTERS AND FRIENDS

I am very lucky that my sister is also my friend. One I count on through thick and thin.

This picture is one of my favorite and it says so much to me and just makes my heart smile. Not only is this my baby. Not only does she make proud each and every day. What this picture says to me is how fabulous she looks. she is back to looking like her old self, maybe better. My baby looks HEALTHY. She is amazing!

MY FAMILY

It is who we are and what we are about. Together through thick and thin, good and bad. We might be small in numbers but we are large in love, laughter and togetherness.

Yup at the end of the day it is me. I look at this picture and know I really like that lady. She has come along way and while still a work in progress she is OK!

That is the highlights for now. There are many more. We took just over 800 pictures with 3 cameras. Yes 3...April, myself and Jackie. I love that Jackie has taken an interest in photography. We cut the pictures down to 365 and I went a bit further and had 246 developed. LOL So consider that I posted the above not bad. I am sure there will be more to follow and scrap pages as well. A really wonderful time and we enjoyed it all and made the most of it. That is a beautiful thing.

November 19, 2010

2010-11-19T10:06:00.000-06:00

Today I am thankful for my Chutzph (Definition of CHUTZPAH: supreme self-confidence : nerve, gall). It is something I have learned. I love it when someone says to me "Why don't you tell us how you really feel" after I have expressed my view on something. I worked hard to be able to do that. My attitude is if you don't like something I say, you are welcome to disagree but it is my right to say whatever happens to be on my mind. Even more is when someone smarts off disrespectfully to me. Such happen this morning and I just let him have it. There was a time when I would keep my mouth shut and not say a word. I know there are those that find that hard to believe but it is true. Now I stand up for myself even though I would perfer not to. I just know if I don't do it there is nobody else who is going to. So yes I am thankful for my nerve and my ability to use it.

November 19, 2010

2010-11-18T08:52:00.000-06:00

Today I am thankful for my strength. When thinking of that I have to remember my Mom. We had an interesting relationship, my mother and I. Growing up I remember always trying to gain her approval and yet always falling short. She was tough, mean, critical and cold. I don't remember hugs and kisses and I certainly don't remember "I love you". I don't remember her coming to school on parent day, I don't remember her being up fixing breakfast or lunch and I don't remember her ever checking my school work. I remember the exact time when things changed and that was when I became a Mom. I realize how very different she and I were and somehow realized that was OK too. It was then we allowed each other the chance to get to know each other and while we had our bumps in the road she taught me a lot later on in life. What she taught me has served me very well and things I hold on to and use every single day.
My Mom taught me to be strong. Life is tough and there are no promises that it is easy. It throws you curves all the time and you have to be strong. You have to suck it up, deal with it and then move on. Sometimes that is harder then it sounds but it takes strength to put the crap away. You tell yourself over and over and sooner or later it works. It takes strength to deal with things sometimes. The one person you should always be able to count on, to take care of you, to see you through the rough times and celebrate the good is YOURSELF!
There are times I have to dig deep but somehow I find the strength when I need it the most and I am very grateful for it.

November 17, 2010

2010-11-17T08:43:00.000-06:00

Ok it has been really tough for me to get on here and post everyday. I started stressing about it and then decided.....there are no rules to this so just go with the flow. Seems a stomach bug got me and it is taking longer then I thought to get back with the program. But it could always be worse.
I have to say I am so very thankful for Baby A and Baby B. My nieces are two amazing young ladies and I don't think I could find the right words to explain. I suppose you have figured out we are a close family but these two are really miracle babys who have brought so much love and joy into our lives. Somehow and not that we planned it at all but Sissy and I managed to have children far enough apart so that each one was "an only child" at the time. Yes there are two of them and yes I had two but it is the concept I refer to. Mine were so very lucky in that they were the center of the their Meemaw and Aunt's world as Baby A and B were in mine. They were the only babies. At first I was worried that we would not really know me since they were in Dallas and I was in Houston. I remember it really worried me but I quickly realized the road that led to Big D was not that far and that Meemaw was always willing to ride along with me. I formed a bond with those girls that lives on and grows stronger every year. Here they are just about 17 and they still say to me...."When are you coming to Dallas?" We laugh together, we hang out together, we shop together, we talk together. It is a beautiful thing. We talk about everything and I do mean everything. Most people would be shocked at our conversations but there is no off limits subjects and now they just roll their eyes and go with the flow. They are great good kids who have a love of family and enjoy spending time with us. Just ask them where they want to be for Thanksgiving and the response will be at home with all of us in the kitchen cooking together. We have done that since they old enough to sit on the counter and stir. So many memories and so many more to come. I know collage is just around the corner and new roads for both of them. I also know that the road home always brings them back to me and for that I am so very thankful.
I love you Baby A and Baby B more than you ever know and you make so proud and so honored to be a part of your lives.

November 12, 2010

2010-11-12T09:44:00.000-06:00

I am thankful for Courage. The courage it took for me to step out of the box, out of my comfort and venture out in the world. By doing so I meant The Fella. He is a great guy and in five short months has brought me to a very happy place. One I thought I would never be in.
So today I am really thankful for the fella. He is kind, considerate, sweet, loving, patient, really smart and did I say sweet. He reminds a lot of my Daddy. He listens when I talk. Yes I did say he listens and he even appears to be interested. He doesn't tell me what to do or how to do it and honestly I don't remember his giving me any advice but he guides me into seeing the whole picture. He is supportive in my family, work, crafts and pretty much what I am interested in or want to do. I love that he likes going with me to Costco or WallyMart. I really like the company and the help. A very big change for me. He remembers things I say and he really gets me. He explains things when I ask a question and I have never felt stupid in asking him a question, not even when I should have known the answer. He makes me feel special. I find it all that amazing. I know things happen for a reason and when things are supposed to happen they do but if not for the courage to get out in the world and a fabulous BFF, I would have missed a beautiful time in my life.

November 11, 2010

2010-11-11T08:34:00.000-06:00

I am opinionated. Imagine that about me and I am thankful for that. I worked hard at being able to express my opinion and not worry so much at who might think what. I have to admit sometimes it gets me in trouble but there is nothing to left to doubt in how I think or feel. I figure at this stage in life if someone doesn't like well then don't let the door hit you in the tail on the way out. Some good things come with age. In expressing my opinion often it has led me to become more self confidant. I try not to hurt people's feelings and I know sometimes my feelings on certain subjects are best left silent and sometimes they are but I am thankful I have that choice.
So yes I am opinionated and that is not going to change and yes I am thankful that I have learned to be opinionated and express it.

November 11, 2010

2010-11-10T08:32:00.000-06:00

I am so thankful for the laughter in my life. It has seen me through all sorts of times, good and bad. I remember reading that laughter is really good for your health and you should laugh (hearty laugh) for 15 minutes every day. I probably do that.
Seriously it is all about choice. You can be miserable and unhappy or you can be happy and find something to laugh about. My niece posted on her blog (go Baby B) about the weekend I was there for Pacesetter bazaar and what she remembered or what she wanted to post about was how we laughed the whole weekend. Oh does my heart good. That is what I want to give to those I love. The ability to laugh even if life is not what you want at the moment. Even in the darkest times, it just helps you deal with it and move on. In the good times, it just make it even better. You bounce back faster and easier when you look for something to laugh about. Trust me on this it works. So bring on the laughter and be thankful you can laugh each and everyday.

November 9, 2010

2010-11-09T08:10:00.000-06:00

Today I am thankful for my job. I am very thankful that I can leave my house and be at the office in 15 minutes with no freeways and little traffic. In a city the size of Houston that is in fact a beautiful thing and one I really don't take for granted. I have been lucky in that for most of my working years to have a job pretty close to home. There was one that lasted a couple of years that was a horrible drive. I have never forgotten how much I hated it and how hard it was.
When you throw in a good boss and nice folks to work with, it is pretty much a win. It is not all a bed of roses and I certainly have my days but all in all I like what I do, the people I work with and it is close to home. Seriously short of winning the lottery it is a pretty good deal. In this day and age with so many unemployed having a job is something to be grateful for and having one you like is amazing.

November 8, 2010

2010-11-08T08:00:00.000-06:00

I really tried to play catch up but the weekend was just to busy. So I am going to just pick up here and move forward.
Today I just have to be Thankful for Little Miss Mia. That child brings so much love, joy and happiness into my life. She allows me to view the world through her eyes and it is amazing. She sees the good in most everything and the little things mean the most. It reminds me of what life should be all about. We get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of our busy lives that we don't take the time to see the simple little things in life. I say it all the time but it is really what my scrapping does for me. While I love the idea of documenting the memories for my children, grandchildren and the generations to come, I am more thankful of what it has taught me to appreciate in life. Stuff happens all the time and we could so focus on the bad or the hard things but seriously if I leave any sort of legacy to my children, I hope it is to enjoy each day for the good simple little things it offers. I hope they see the positive instead of the negative. I have found it is just as easy to find something positive as it is to find something negative. That is what Mia brings to anyone around her. The pure look of joy as she teaches me to dance outside of Texas Roadhouse when we play after dinner. The laughter and the smile on her face. The simple things....yes I am ever so grateful for Little Miss Mia and the bright future she is sure to have that I will be lucky enough to be a part of.